You stabbed me in the back. You couldn't look at what you had done so you covered up my face. I didn't exist to you anymore. It was easy for you because you have done this before. Don't you know me at all? Suffering is where I flourish. Don't get me wrong, this was hard, the hardest but where is the glory doing what is easy? I just sat in the pain. I learned from it. I grew, alot. You couldn't even say her name. You couldn't tell the truth. You ran away like a squirrel. You simply started over and got along like we never were. Your ability to compartmentalize is frightening, not to be confused with strength. I was in agony. I had to of been close to dying. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I pleaded with God, I begged, sobbing and shouting, you will never know what that was like. I wasn't alone you know, she went through it too. Did you know she had physical reactions to the trauma that you caused! I know, I know kids are “resilient”, but that is not an excuse to do whatever the hell you want to them! People who say that are the ones who have screwed up and are too arrogant to admit it. Do you know what you robbed her of? Have you ever considered the impact your choices had on her and her future? You haven't, in your very own words you said that you feel nothing!
Does your married girlfriend know that you cheated on her with your wife in September? You know that whole day I knew, I knew your plan to fly the next morning to be with her. I bet it was such a thrill to plan your adultery together. I knew you were not meeting your friend; he was never even there. Should I go on??? You didn't think I would have ever found out, ha. I told you I knew everything and I wasn't lying. I’m clever and you are such a terrible liar it is pitiful that you even tried. I lovingly made you chili and packed you milk and snacks and I pretended. I was advised to take the blame, to make a home you wanted to come home to, and to watch my motives. What were your motives, babe? You made one little compromise after another until you were able to justify behavior you would have never tolerated before. You became unable to focus on good things in our marriage because you were afraid it would take the wind from your sails. You trashed what we had, in order to justify your actions. I watched quietly as you made a series of choices and became the perfect cliche. I am disappointed you turned into everything you said you would never be. Who are you now??? Are you righteous? Are you ethical? Do you Hold The Standard? Are you a person that you would admire? Look in the mirror. I know who you are, you are an imposter. You knew I would rather have loyalty than love. Now I gotta ball without you(21)