I Realize Moving On Will Never Be Easy

Subject: I Realize Moving On Will Never Be Easy
From: Karisse
Date: 6 Jul 2018


It's been 35 days since the last time I saw you, 40 days since we ended; but still, the memories we've created are like movies replaying endlessly on my mind. Your voice plays like a song on repeat in my head. It seems like you've occupied so much space in my system and I've been trying to clear up that space for a while.

But you're like a computer virus. When I thought I already deleted everything, it turns out, nothing was really removed.

Who would have thought you would be someone I'd wish to cut off from my life? I certainly did not expect it. Until now, honestly, I'm still hoping I wouldn't have to. But I think you already started cutting me of from yours. And this is me trying really hard to face that reality.

But why is this so difficult? How am I still hurting so bad when it's all over? Why the idea of you finally moving on with your life crushes me like crazy?

It was painful to be with you. But it's also painful not to. And I can't recognize which hurts more. I just want to stop hurting so I took action. Back then it seems that breaking up was the best option. But now I don't know what to do to stop this pain.

How can I move forward like this? Whenever I try take a step forward, one memory of you and I'm two, three steps back.

How long will this last? I just want to stop crying already.