Heart Broken

To whom it may concern May 1 2016 I decided I needed to figure out how to live the rest of my life without my wife. Let me start from the beginning twenty two years ago I met this beautiful woman, we immediately hit it off, she was not allowed to go anywhere with me so I could only visit her at her house. One month later I was leaving the company where I worked so I told her that I loved her and really needed here to come with me , we told her father and he said that she was 18 and could do what she wanted to do.

She came with me and I was on top of the world. Everything was going very well for us romantically and financially then five years later we were married. A few years after we had the most handsome son anyone could ask for, when he was two weeks old we went home to Florida from out west so all of our family could see our little guy, when he was one month old we went to South America for our work, this is where things go south. I am not trying to justify what I did because I know it was extremely wrong. My wife was so involved with our son she didn't pay any attention to me, once again I am not blaming her at all, it was all my fault, I kissed another woman and sure about my family, I considered leaving my wife. After a lot of crying and screaming she decided to give me and our marriage another chance.

I never wanted to talk about what I had done because I was embarrassed but most of all because I broke her heart and broke the bond of trust. I have always had a problem talking about my feelings, I am a very private person. For the next fifteen years I wanted to spend every waking moment with her and our son because I almost lost them and I never wanted that to happen again, things were going okay, not perfect, we still had our problems. In September of 2016 we had a talk about our relationship and she told me she wanted to separate for a while, I was not on board with her decision but I told her that I would do whatever it took to make my marriage work. At the end of our work season we arrived home in November, after two days of being home she told me she wanted to get a divorce and that she was not in love with me anymore. That is the worst possible words to hear from your wife.

From November to May 1 I have been struggling to keep it together, it's amazing where you get support, this is where my fifteen year old son comes in, he had been there for me every step of the way, he has watched me cry myself to sleep every night and has never judged me, I couldn't ask for a better son and I love him dearly. I tried very hard to keep her from leaving, but I guess too much is not enough. A couple of days I was listening to Casting Crowns on Pandora and a song came on by Big Daddy Weave called Redeemed, I am not a religious man by no means but I listen to all kinds of music for their lyrics and beat, but anyway the song resonated with me. There will never be a replacement for nor would I ever want to, for I am still very much in love with her. I gave my heart and she will forever have it. If anyone is reading this letter please take my advice, don't ever lose sight of each other and always let them know how you feel because maybe one day they will no longer be there. Thank you.