So this is going to be long, and it has been long overdue (3 Years of stored anger!). There are going to be a lot of air quotes, so brush up on your sarcasm. I don’t expect a wider audience. Valentine’s week is upon us and all of you are busy. It’s like that crash course just before the semester ends. 7 days to achieve “some” + “thing”. And the ones who already have something, you would rather be “cuddling” with each other than listening to a single guy rant. So you go ahead and do that. This doesn’t concern you anyway. This is for other fellow victims such as myself.
So Valentine’s Week almost here. A full week of desperation, testosterone charged men running around looking for an outlet for their pent up “energy”.
A man is always expected to compromise, isn’t he? Having said that, it’s not like women don’t make compromises, but when you do, you have your feminists’ society to make a stupendous deal out of it. But when men do, it’s what we are supposed to do. Take one for the team, you are a MAN. (Is there a word called “meninist”? I don’t suppose there is. Because if you google “feminism antonym”, here’s what you get: “There is no opposite to feminism in existence. That's part of the problem.”)
When I first started dating, I was so much in love that I needed to spend every second of every minute of every hour of every day with her. Then she went abroad and… “We don’t need to talk every day.”, She said. So while she went on dinners, and group “studies” sessions, I stared at my phone waiting. I could not ask her to make the same compromises which I made because God forbid if I came between her and her “studies”. Who was I? Just a software engineer trying to make it on his own, earn his own living and trying to independent, just like half the nation. But she was studying… “abroad”. Just like the remaining half. The things only got worse when I fought with her, she had hundreds of guys dying to be a crying shoulder. But I am a MAN. I can’t expect crying shoulders, can I? Because MEN don’t cry. MEN don’t feel things. MEN are not humans. So instead I got my office washroom, all to myself, where I had posters of Iron Man, Hulk and Captain America staring down at me, telling me not to cry, to be strong.
Because I had to do it on my own. I had no one, because I invested myself completely in the relationship. I didn’t have any friends, while she had plenty. “Friends” who ask her out on dates every day, you know…just as a “friend”. “Friends” who watch her favorite TV shows, so that they can just “discuss” it with her, completely “platonic”. “Friends” who remember that she loves cheese and can’t eat spicy food, just because they “care”. Her “friends” who in their spare time, discuss how amazing it’d be to sleep with her, but you understand right? Completely platonic. “Friends” who stand outside her door with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates to wish her Happy Women’s Day. Completely platonic. Stop it! Don’t judge my girl and her friend, how many of even you remember when women’s day is? He doesn’t “want” anything from her. Just being a “friend”. “Friends” who “shares” her among other “friends”, on matters such as who will get the secret Santa chit with her name on it and get to make her do activities. But all that is just plain fun right? TOTALLY platonic. “Friends” who are famous for attempted molestation, but hey! Charges were never proved okay? So it’s all good.
If you say you love her, you are being forward. If she says it to someone else, it’s just “friendship”. If you try to protect her, you are being over clingy. If you don’t, you were supposed to be a good friend and put a stop to all of those desperate activities. And then you would be compared to “them”. “So what he touched me, you also pat my head lovingly”. “So what his intentions are not good, he talks nicely. I like talking to him”. And then it’s your fault. Because you can’t even remember the days in the Valentine Week. Rose day, Chocolate day, Hug day, Kiss Day, Teddy Day and Valentine’s Day. I am still missing one. But it really mattered, I’d google it. But he remembers. Because he’s is a good “friend”. He talks to her “nicely”. He is the first person she runs to when you fight with her. Because he knows how to hide his intentions. He knows how to “listen”. Because movies have taught us that a guy can just want to be friends with a girl. Because life is that easy. It comes out of a Disney movie and on a daily basis we go like "Oh hey! A unicorn." Because a man's opinion about men, always has to be wrong
So it ends only way it's supposed to. You end up being the Villain of her life. Because the smart-ass that you are, you think it’s okay to fight because she would understand that you fight only because you love her and it bothers you that she is surrounded by worst breed of the species you are a part of, MEN. Because the dumb fuck that you are, you think loving her unconditionally is enough.
So ultimately what happens? While she goes out on a date…with you know… “just-a-friend.” You sit in your bedroom, booze soaked with your guitar, under a Kurt Cobain poster, humming sad songs and writing whiny articles.
*Sighs* So here it is, wishing a very happy Valentine’s Day to the love of my life and her boy-“just-a-friend.”
