You are stronger than this. Wake up to the reality, and stop romanticizing the abuse you have been going through. Stop protecting him. Loosen yourself from his grips, completely. He thinks he is charming, he proudly boasts that he gets away with everything, he is extremely full of himself, he enjoys belittling others, enjoys gaslighting, and you know he enjoys getting more than he does giving - do not believe him. He has been here before, and he will continue because these men don't change - they're cunning and they are consumed with an unnatural aura and desire for material pleasures, and they're proud, self-proclaimed actors and liars - but you need to rise stronger than ever, for yourself first, and then for the ones who love you dearly, and genuinely.
Don't you see, sweet little girl, he had you roped into the realms of his dark, twisted world where you follow everything he said; to you, he was the greatest in what he does, to you, he was full of nothing but love. Can't you see, for more than a year now, you've been living in an iron box? And only he had the keys to its lock because this box was his, and he pushed you in and made sure you fit. He did not care if you were hurting, he did not care of the darkness you would soon become afraid of, he did not care of the times you would scream on top of your lungs, and he would not listen when you called out his name for help. He opened you up, and he let you breathe and live again, when he needed you physically. And when he did, that breath of fresh air, that feeling of being wanted, that feeling of having some worth or value - it forced you to let him have you, as and when and how he wanted. He carved your heart out to fit only his needs. He didn't care that you no longer had any space in there left for those who loved you, your family, your friends. When he wanted you, he would tell you exactly that which you needed to hear, and hopeless as you were, you danced like a puppet in his hands, on his command.
But you are stronger than this. Look, he is gone. You are free. You can now tell anybody you want, scream it on top of your lungs, inhale, exhale, dance, and grow. You can do anything. Please just be. Live to live, not to exist or survive anymore. Don't you dare try or even think about taking your life to rid yourself of him - he is gone. Don't you dare think about hurting yourself so you do not hurt others. Let it go. When he was done with you, when he began to lose control, he made you believe that being in that iron box, feeling unwanted, feeling unworthy, having lost self-worth - it was because you were mentally ill. He made you believe that you were sick. And you know what? You began to lack the nourishment one receives in their daily life from the love and the energy of the world and its many marvels, because you couldn’t - and so, you waited for him to open that box up so you could feed off of what little he gave when he did. While he left you in that box, he managed to receive all of his nourishment before he was back again for his adventure. He fed off of the energy of the world, his friends, his family, his life, and he could eat, he could sleep, he could continue to pretend he was a saint in the eyes of the world, while you sat in there crying, waiting, avoiding people, losing friends and relationships, losing sleep because of the fear of nightmares, hungry, for food and for the love that gave you some life. He made you sick.
But you are stronger than this - and that is why, my dear, he is not getting away with it this time. For the sake of every woman on this planet who has, at some point in her life, been abused, been manipulated and hypnotized to believe that she was hopelessly in love, or mentally ill, or was at fault for letting someone use her, or for giving herself to a man who forced her to believe that it was right to do - but only when he needed her, and made her believe she was wrong for needing him, for the sake of every girl that has been harassed mentally, physically, emotionally, and every girl who has been forcefully pulled and dragged by the hair because he was "just having fun," - GET UP.
You are stronger than this. You are stronger than you know. You are stronger than the world knows you to be. Get up, let him go, wash him out of every organ of your body you have every let him in, sanitize yourself with some fresh air, a lot of faith, in yourself and you God. Get back up, and look at yourself in the mirror, because God knows you haven't done that in so long. You did nothing wrong. You made a mistake we all make, and that is to think you are in love, but sweet girl, please realize that was NOT some unearthly connection you just couldn't ignore, that was NOT love. You are young, and this was your chance to grow. This is your chance to now move forward. You have broken out of that box. You fought long and hard, you cried as loudly as you could, and screamed until you lost your voice - but remember! He will be forced to dig his own grave one day at a time, he may live a long life but he will be dead on the inside. He will get exactly that which he deserves. You have to remain strong. Keep fighting, and stay true to yourself.
