Today, today was the last day you’d ever call me names or put your hands on me. You destroyed a lot more today than just sentimental things around my house. You broke me in a way I never thought I could be broken. As is sat in my bathroom floor with the door locked crying my eyes out because once again you had wiggled your way back into my life just to break me down even more than before. Every time you came back the situations just got worse. Mentally I couldn’t take much more but tried being strong because I didn’t want to be another person that walked out on you. I wanted you to feel loved and cared about. Because I loved you more than you’d ever know. I made everything my fault in my head even if I never said that out loud. I lost myself along the way. And that. It scared me. I wanted to make you understand how much I loved you. While I was trying my best to hold you together the whole time you were dragging me down piece by piece. You called yourself a MONSTER and that I would soon start to believe was true. I’d ask myself daily. How can one person love someone and put them through this? When they’re already facing some of the most difficult times in their life? Why would someone want to just hurt you and laugh and think it’s funny while you’re sitting on the bathroom floor crying and praying for relief. That’s not love! That’s hate! It started just like any other relationship would. Good. But soon after all the fun was over I started to see just what kind of person you really were and once you showed me that there was no turning back from it. You’d call me fat, stupid, retarded, worthless a waste of a life and would tell me you hoped I died. I made my mistakes in our relationship but I never put you down I was always trying to bring you up. To help you understand you were better than you let yourself believe. I wanted you to understand you were lovable you were just human and made some mistakes but could get past all the bad and start to focus on all the good. I put your happiness before mine. All I wanted was for you to get better and things to go back to the way they were. I was always the cheater but I never once was unfaithful to you. You accused me of cheating and talking to all these people but never once was that the case. I soon realized why I was always blamed for it. Because you were the once doing it. Not me. You. I was the faithful, loyal and caring one. You were the MONSTER that destroyed me. Made me feel like I was nothing. Made me believe things about myself I knew wasn’t true. I’m not mad at you though I want you to know that from the bottom of my heart. I’m not mad at all. I’m hurt. I’m broken. And I’m lost. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stay this way. Because even when you called me a pussy for not hitting you back every time you laid your hands on me doesn’t mean that’s what I am. I’m stronger than you’ll ever be. No one will keep me down!! I’ll be saying a prayer for you every night before I go to sleep and every morning I wake up. And one more thing. Thank you! Thank you for allowing me to be apart of your life. Thank you for teaching me things about people I was blinded by. Thank you so much.
With love,
The bitch that you don’t want to mess with anymore.
