To the first guy I ever had a crush

Subject: To the first guy I ever had a crush
From: Ms. Out Of Your League
Date: 28 Jun 2015

Dear 스타키,

Sometimes things don't end up the way they're hoped to be. Unlike other freshmen in college, I was brave enough to confess my feelings for you. No, I was not expecting you to feel the same way. All I just wanted was to know you more in a friendly manner. I did not expect you will think I'm a creepy person. Yet, as I look back at all the things I did to you, I realized I was actually creepy.

After the confession,you never said anything. No rejection. No acceptance. Not even a thank you. Just nothing. Until now I wonder what was really your reaction or even just your intention. We exchanged cheesy messages but we rarely speak to each other. I have thought of you so much in my freshman year in college. I don't even know if you were worth the time to think of.

To my frustration I got drunk at a party you organized. My friends said I acted like an idiot in front of you and the crowd. I cannot remember anything from that night except I recklessly indulged myself to those red-colored cups tasting like a minty kind of iced tea. I want to say sorry for whatever I have done that night. After it, things got even weirder between us. Before that night, we were exchanging smiles as we pass by each other. I admit. I screwed up. I even got more desperate to give this hopeless romance another chance.

Again, I'm sorry for this foolish act I have done which may have caused you to flunk one of your major math subject. I know you are a math major and after finding out you may not graduate because of that, I honestly felt guilt all over my nerves. Before the enrollment for the second semester started, I hacked your university account and changed the schedule of one of your minor subjects so we can be in class together. I know it hurts to wake up very early for a 7 AM class. I realized I was a creepy gal after all. I thought we'll finally be close to each other after we become classmates. I was wrong. It was a complete mistake. I regret taking a 7 AM class and dragging you along to the burden I've done.

Despite all the secret creeper actions I have done to you, nothing changed between us. Just plain awkward acquaintances. A month before the semester ended, you brought me to an organization close to your heart. I attended that bible study meeting because I want to see who you really are when you are at your weakest. I want to thank you for that. I met new people there and I enjoyed those times.

To sum it up, nothing changed to our relationship from the start I made that awkward confession and after you graduated. Even though we barely know each other, you made a big impact on who I am and who I will be in the future.

  • Sorry for being a stalker.
  • Sorry for being creepy.
  • Sorry for being a meddlesome fellow.
  • Sorry for putting you into situations you did not deserve.
  • Thank you for making me realize I deserve better.
  • Thank you for being an inspiration in my studies last year.
  • Thank you for understanding these crazy things I did to you.
  • Thank you for making me feel twitterpated over your charisma and sexy dance moves.
  • Thank you for making me go back to my faith.
  • Above all, thank you for making me realize what my priorities should be in the future.
  • Congratulations you finally got that sablay in your graduation last June 26. May your dreams be fulfilled.

    I hope to see you again in the future without this feelings I have for you.


    Forgetting you won't be easy but it's the best thing to do since we don't have any common ground anymore.