Dear Crystal Meth

Subject: Dear Crystal Meth
From: The one you tried to end
Date: 15 Jan 2019

"Say no to drugs" "Meth will ruin you" "It's in your genes, watch out".... But I didn't listen. I chose to try you for myself. To see what all the talk was about. And man, I'll be honest. I fell for you. You're one of a kind, that's for sure. I couldn't get enough of you. You made me feel great. But things went in a downward spiral QUICK. I dropped a ton of weight. Lost the color to my skin and the spark to my eyes. Picked at my skin to and reel the bugs out. I sat on all fours on my bedroom floor looking for any specs of you I could find. I went nationally missing. Lost several people I loved, but most importantly.. almost lost myself. But what can I say? You had me hooked. I shot you into my veins and felt your 'magic' run its course through every part of my body. At that moment, I was at peace. I would take you in each nostril and let the blood from your shards drip down, happy, because I caught you again. I would smoke you out of a grey bubble pipe, and watch your crystals turn to smoke and make their way inside my lungs for a place to rest. I hated getting off of you. The doctors didn't know what to do with me. They kept saying I was lucky to be alive. But I did not feel that way. Detox was hell. The sweats, the shakes, the voices and shadows, it was all too real. I couldn't keep food down, sleep wasn't something I could achieve without more and more drugs each time. But it truly did get better. I'm not cured, but I am getting better and have been since July 6 of 2017 when you tried to kill me but I got help. I don't remember much else. For like your deceiving smoke, it's just a fog to me now. What I do know now, is that I hate you. And recovering from you will be a battle I face until the day I die. But i'm DONE being your slave and allowing you to hold me captive. I'm free, and not turning back.