Hey... its me...again...
Just wanted to see how you were doing and wish you only happiness, because after all I only ever wanted the best for you... and still do.
Even after you dirtied my name...
Even after you hurt me..
And even after you broke my heart...
Our story is much like all the other high school sweetheart's. You made me the happiest girl on the planet, pretended that you cared for me, then proceeded to break me and ignore me when I was no longer a convenience to you. This is all fine, it happens, I understand, but true pain was when you started spreading lies and rumours about me...
You truly were the first guy I had feelings for ( I hesitate to say love because I know that was not it) and to me you were a big deal. But I wasn't a big deal to you, now was I? I met you and immediately invited you into my life not knowing how explosive and destructive you would be to me.
The red flags were apparent immediately, yet I ignored them because I felt you truly cared for me. Looking back I realize now that someone who cares for another would not only text back when convenient for them or only hangout with someone if it was past 12 o'clock or when they needed a place to sleep because they were too wasted to go home. But there I was, always picking you up after parties you didn't invite me to, and breaking all my rules for you.
The last morning you left my doorstep, and the last time I talked to you was over a year and a half ago. I still think about it all the time. I picked you up from a friends after a long night of drinking and when we arrived home you had tried to pressure me into doing things but I refused as you could hardly put together a full sentence.
After my refusal you went straight to sleep. Right?
But thats not what you told your friends is it?
Because of the lies you spread about me I had gained a new reputation...
"slut"
Friends, acquaintances even stranger believed the lies you spread. I was labeled this for the rest of high school. You created this lie so what? So you could feel better about getting rejected? So you could have a great story to tell your boys about how much of a "freak" in bed I am? No one respects a "slut".
I tried to move on from you and the hurt you caused but no matter who I started talking to the first thing they asked was if I would do the same to them as I did to you...
My answer was always no.
We never talked after that night you spent at my house, I was too angry to confront you and part of me knew that if I ever did I would realize just how much you didn't care about me, and I couldn't handle that. Just like you couldn't handle being rejected.
I guess the point of this letter is to let you know that through all the hell you put me through I managed to keep what little dignity you left me with, and realized what a catch I really could be to someone. Because of you I found the love of my life and I couldn't be happier. Yet your stale memory still lingers in the back of my mind.
