First of all, I would just like to say that I don't hate you not do I really have any sort of dislike for you or any feeling at all for that matter.
Second, I would like to say thank you.
Thank you for showing me early on in my life what it is exactly the wrong one looks like because that made it so much easier for me to find the right one.
The scariest part about the wrong one is that they can have so many similar qualities to the right one that sometimes we become blind to the qualities that probably matter the most. You were kind and caring in the beginning, you gave me a sense of importance in which I had never had before. That kid was was just the thing that kept me blind to what began to go on around me for the next two or so years. My level of importance to you was like a roller coaster, I'd be at the top of your list for one hour of the day and then plummet to the ground for the next week to follow since I was not being the quiet naive girlfriend you wanted even though I would have done anything in the world for you. The times that I was at the bottom of the roller coaster were the times that destroyed me, these were the times when I began to doubt myself and wonder what it was that was wrong with me. What was it that I was doing wrong? The answer? Nothing, I wasn't doing anything wrong but even after all was said and done it took me months to truly figure out that I was not the one with the problem and that having to walk on eggshells as to not say the wrong thing to upset you was not in any way a form of normalcy. Loving you caused me to hate myself but I'm not mad at you or the situation for that because there's truly notbing more beautiful than learning to love yourself by starting at your very lowest because there is no greater love than that. I do not miss you. I do not miss the months following the end of our relationship where hearing your name made me cringe or where I still sat and pondered what I could have done differently when in all actuality, I did everything right. It was you who should have been pondering. Thank you for forcing me to grow up faster than I had to because of the traumatic experiences you created in my life, because of that I am a much stronger person than I may have been because I was strong enough to grow and move on from the darkness you held over my life. Thank you for bringing me to the lowest point in my life so that there was no where that I could go but up because that is the only direction worth going. In my head I thought that I would always love you but it has been one of my greatest pleasures to understand that love is not a feeling that I can pertain to you in any manner because the love I posses is not something that you could ever truly be worthy of. Thank you for forcing me to be who I am today because you decided to be such a disappointment. So thank you, for for being s loser mre
