I'm not the same person I used to be when I was with you.
When we were together I was so happy and had such an innocent mindset. Little did I know people are fucked up.
You put your entire life in my hands.
You made me think I changed you and you were this perfect boyfriend because you were "so in love with me". You are a manipulator and a liar and I want to thank you for doing the things you did to me because now I am a stronger person and I am a smarter person. I now know people don't love the same and people lie. And they lie a lot. You had me thinking I made you so happy, but you also had me thinking I was the only thing that made you happy and for that, I hate you. To feel like you could jeopardize someone's life that you love if you do or say one wrong thing is one of the worst things in the world. You claimed I was the reason you were happy and if I wasn't with you, you'd kill yourself. And to make me think that you had done such a thing when I was angry at you for other reasons just so I'd stay with you and not be mad at you anymore makes you a shitty person and a coward. And it makes me stupid.
You changed me.
I dealt with it for so long I can't even be in a healthy relationship now because I'm so scarred from you. You make me think I have to rethink anything anyone says to me because it could easily be a lie. You make me think every guy is a cheater. I should have known from the beginning. Everybody told me to be careful and you were bad for me, but I just thought they didn't know you as good as I did and i thought I could change you. And I thought I had. But nobody can. Because you don't want to be changed. You see nothing wrong in your actions and that in itself just shows what kind of person you are.
You're a cheater.
I would never wish the pain of being cheated on, on anyone. It literally breaks your heart. And because of everything you put me through i now am a different person and honestly sometimes, I don't think it's a good thing, because I now automatically think the worst about any guy who comes into my life and I take my anger from you out on them and I end up being un happy and because of that I just want to punch myself because if you knew that you would probably be so happy with yourself that you could do that to me.
You still have an effect on me
As much as I hate it, I still think about you and what you did to me all the time. And it sucks. We've been broken up for almost a year now and you still get under my skin. We never really got closure because I wanted nothing to do with you anymore after what you did to me, but you're everywhere. It's like I can't get away from you.
You have taught me so many lessons, so thank you.
one thing that I am content with now is that I am not as naive as I was before and I know how strong i am because of everything you put me through and i realize I no longer have you to put me through hell. So thank you. I'm praying for you.
