To a best friend named Bear

Subject: To a best friend named Bear
Date: 28 Sep 2016

Dear Bear,
Two years of my life has been spent in an ever fluctuating relationship that I thought was worth all the sacrifice in the world. Worth pain and discomfort. Worth loss and lack of security. Worth hard work and emotional strife. It was worth it because I had a best friend and lasting love that made me a better version of myself. It made me happy, it made me proud, and it made me appreciate love in all its forms.
And now that love is no longer something worth fighting for.
You are an amazing person when you are your true self. You are kind, funny, caring, and very smart. You work hard, and you love deeply. You take care of me and make me feel like the luckiest woman alive. You give great advice. You speak well. You read. You are my dream companion when you are healthy because you give me permission to love myself to the fullest.
When you are not yourself, you are selfish. You wallow in things far too long. You say hurtful and confusing things, leaving me wondering if what I heard and felt when you were healthy was fact or fiction. You are self destructive, nonsensical, and beholden to those people who hurt you the most. You are sad and in the state of depression, sick with it, you push away the love I am able to give you by denying us both the love we feel when we are together.
So I have finally decided to end this cycle in which we find ourselves. I told you I could no longer endure the hurt you cause when you are not yourself. I can no longer be the pillar of emotional support you confess to need when in your darkness. I end up being hurt far too badly when I try to offer you the love I feel for you, in all its forms, and the pain to which I am afflicted is unbearable.
You are right; I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to subject myself to your presence ever again. We’ve tried and failed and nothing short of you coming to me and fully committing to our relationship will ever undo it. But I know you won’t because you can’t. Your indecision is your decision, your depression is our problem and I can’t be a part of life like this anymore.
So one last time:

I love bear
The Spruce Poop
An lb
Ooo ooo ooo
A necker
VAL KILMER?!
Ju come?
No Never
ILYMTA
A bb!
Let me take care of you
Thhhaaankkk Yoooouuu
Freckles Bear
Snigglefritz Goldfarb
MB
My heart
Da Hooce
Do ju gym?
143
LHD
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for being there

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