In my high school British Literature class there came a time in the year that we all had to read a classic. One of the options was Pride and Prejudice. I wasn’t too terribly thrilled to read it, but so many others had, and people like it… for some reason. The book is about a young woman named Elizabeth Bennet. She lives in old-timey England where they wear big hoop skirts and tight corsets. Elizabeth is a very intelligent woman who can see that societies standards are outdated.
The first thing that caught my attention was actually the very first paragraph of the book. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.” (Austin pg.1) Jane Austin, the author of this novel, starts the book with a bang. You find out how relationships are viewed. Money and looks are all that matter. This statement is greater emphasized by this next quote. “An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. --Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." (pg. 99) This really solidified the theme of the book for me. Sending their daughter off to get married- or not- is more important than keeping their families relationship intact. Wealth and social status are more important than genuine happiness and love.
Even in the twenty-first century women are expected to live up to a beauty standard, and be married with children; living happily with a man. Standard have changed with time, but they are still there. Men are still stereotypically the ones who bring home the money, and have little to nothing to do with the house chores and caring for the children. Personally this stereotype does not apply to my family, and it’s really opened up my eyes to see it happening around me. My father has been a stay-at-home dad my entire life. Granite he has a disability being legally blind, but he’s the one who does the dishes, and the laundry, and the Food Network binge watching. Meanwhile, my mom is at a cooperate job with long hours and stiff suits. My family situation is “not normal” compared to what people think of when they think of gender roles. These stereotypes and gender roles are clearly unnecessary and can be abolished like other open minded people.
This letter is addressed to the continuous struggle to find a happy medium. Where do men and women excel best together? How can we abolish standards and stereotypes?
In the book one more quote really stuck in my mind. “-I take your place now, and you must go lower, because I am a married woman." (Austin, pg. 217) Not only do the men in this book undermine women, so do the other women. Elizabeth Bennet can’t get a break. My biggest question that isn’t answered in this book is why all of this matters. Why does everything think a woman needs a man to be fulfilled.
Our fight starts with loving ourselves, and listening to what we want. When we can decipher what the good and bad in ourselves is we can see it in others. We also need to have more empathy. We’re not all privileged, or gifted. Everybody is different, and live different lives, and we need to recognize that that is okay and that’s how it should be.
Elizabeth Bennet goes against her family, friends, and community, to fight for what she believes in. I encourage the person, or people, reading this to fight for something you believe in. Whether that be gender equality or not. Find your passion; your genuine happiness, and break the stereotypes and old expectations.
