My whole school career, all I wanted was to fit in. I never could because you were the ones who chose who was worthy to be cool and who wasn't.
The older I got, the more I tried. I wanted to be in the cool crowd to have memories to look back. I wanted to be like you so much that I went out and bought the most expensive designers jeans just like you, even though I had to work three jobs to pay for them. You had everything handed to you, and I never did. I was always so nice to you.
I put myself into your conversation so that I could be recognized. All of my efforts seemed to continue to go unnoticed. I didn't party. I worked three jobs the summer before my senior year. I never slept in. I attended church every Sunday. I didn't "live it up" like you did. In saying all of this, I want to apologize.
I want to apologize to you for putting you up so high in my life whenever I should have made God my role model. I want to apologize to myself for not knowing my own self-worth. I now know that I am so much more than that. I may only have three friends in my whole school, but they will never ask me to be something that I'm not. I know that you have been the cool kids our whole life, but you shouldn't look down upon someone like me just because people like me aren't rich and we don't party. Because someday, when people like me are making 3 figures a year doing something we love and having a wonderful family, you will still be living with momma and daddy playing video games and getting high and drunk every night. When that day comes, our situation will reverse and you will be the one who looks up to me. The only difference between us is that I will never reject you. I will still treat you as my equal. Next time you exclude the nerdy girl from the conversation, just remember that the roles can reverse. Live by the golden rule.
