It's been exactly 47 days since I last saw you. Since I heard you tell me you love me. Since I felt that hug I love oh so much. Its weird to think, 47 days ago we were fine. We argued, yes, but you were my best friend. 47 days ago we were sitting in my room, eating meatloaf and playing games on my laptop. We were laughing, for once we weren't arguing. For once since we broke up we were fine. Its weird how things can change, one minute you love me, the next minute you don't want to speak to me. I know so much about you and all that information is now a distant pointless memory.
I remember everything, I remember every night I saw you since the first night at Walmart. I should be over you. I should be over all the pointless arguments that I started. I should be over everything, but for some reason I'm not. I want to say I regret loving you, and that it was a mistake but its so hard. Loving you is so hard to forget and wanting you is so hard to regret. Its funny, cause after 45 days of not talking to you, I'm still trying everything in my power to talk to you. To get you to respond to me. If you cared you would see I'm trying, but no. You never cared.
45 days later, I'm still trying. to make you understand I wasn't lying. I'm still trying to make you talk to me and I know you don't want to.
I can't promise you I'm going to stop trying to talk to you any time soon. I know I won't. One day I will. One day I will understand that you really don't care anymore and I will stop being all sad and writing these letters. But as for now, I'm just a heartbroken girl.
Its 4:18am, you're on my mind heavy. 47 days and counting Babyboy, 47 days and counting.
