Entertainment

Dear Jimmy Kimmel, You've trolled humankind for years, but let's focus on the acts that have most recently infected the web. It was clear you found your YouTube groove last April when you humiliated interviewed Coachella fans in "Lie Witness News." The subsequent series followed a similar formula, exploiting high-brow fashionistas and overly eager digital savants. We get it, tropes are funny (albeit insanely obvious). We laughed anyway, because no one likes a know-it-all. We met twerk girl, the star of your most perfect prank to date — from the video's poor quality to the unsuspecting upload from "Caitlin Heller" (seriously, giving Daphne Avalon a fake name was brilliant), who just wanted to surprise her boyfriend. Everything but the stunt itself felt so organic that we...
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What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains. For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didn’t like. I didn’t like how often he would take me away from my mom, siblings...
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Dear Johnny Depp’s Tonto, We are going to have a lot to talk about next year when your Disney movie about the Lone Ranger and Tonto hits. An in-production photo of you has emerged and it makes me nervous. You have a blackbird on your head. Johnny Depp Tonto Blackbird-head. Tsk. That bird might pluck your eyes out, man. The moment it hit my Facebook newsfeed the updates from my friends went nutso. What is this look? Is it genuine? Is Johnny Depp Native American or Native enough? Does he, like so too many others, have a distant Indian princess in his lineage? He’s said his great grandmother is Creek or Cherokee. Creek or Cherokee. He’s not sure which—this Creek-or-Cherokeeness of him amounts to one line on his Wikipedia page. Can casually embracing being part of this-or-that tribe...
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Dear Mr. DiCaprio, Actually, can I call you Leo? I feel like I should, given the circumstances. Should I call you Sir Leo? Are you knighted yet? No, you're not. I looked it up. Moving on. I can't imagine the disappointment you must be feeling after losing yet another round of Academy Awards, this time with your work as a producer on the documentary Virunga. Even when you step away from the spotlight, that little golden statue just seems barely out of reach even for a man of your many talents. And for what? Edward Snowden. You and I both know Frank Abagnale Jr. could wipe the floor with Edward Snowden and then steal his identity. But I digress. Leo, pal, you know how you find love when you stop looking for it? It's the same with Oscars. A watched Oscar never wins,...
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Dear Kanye West It is YOU who is so busy disrespecting artistry. You disrespect your own remarkable talents and more importantly you disrespect the talent, hard work and tenacity of all artists when you go so rudely and savagely after such an accomplished and humble artist like BECK. You make yourself look small and petty and spoilt. In attempting to reduce the importance of one great talent over another, you make a mockery of all musicians and music from every genre, including your own. Grow up and stop throwing your toys around. You are making yourself look like a complete twat. Ps.I am pretty certain Beyonce doesn't need you fighting any battles on her account. Seems like she's got everything covered perfectly well on her own.
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Dear lovely people, There are a few things I want to say and its hard to do in 140 characters. We all love Angie what she does, the kind hearted person she is just about everything you can think of. But working around alot of clebs and having a friend who is one there is something I want to say something alot of people dont think of. First off there is 2 Angie Harmons, why you say and how can that be. Well let me explain, there is the actress the humanitarian the one who gives to her fans with her whole heart. The one we see in public. BUT alot of people dont understand or realize there is another Angie harmon. The mother who firecly protects her kids, who gets her heart hurt and cant share that side of her, the daughter, the private person she cooks cleans shops takes care of the...
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Dear lovely people, There are a few things I want to say and its hard to do in 140 characters. We all love Angie what she does, the kind-hearted person she is just about everything you can think of. But working around a lot of celebs and having a friend who is one there is something I want to say something a lot of people don't think of. First off there are TWO Angie Harmons. Why, you say, and how can that be? Well let me explain, there is the actress, the humanitarian, the one who gives to her fans with her whole heart. The one we see in public. BUT a lot of people don't understand or realize there is another Angie Harmon. The mother who fiercely protects her kids, who gets her heart hurt and cant share that side of her, the daughter, the private person she cooks cleans...
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Hi UK, it’s Michelle Visage’s husband! I hope you’ll bless me with your attention for just a short time while I gush about my wife. First off, I can’t believe I’m doing this. Can’t believe I’m writing on Michelle’s website– okay, secretly a thrill for me– especially since Michelle and I decided nobody would take over for her posting while she goes into the 2015 CBB house. She loves posting her blogs and her voice is so unique, who could possibly replace it? Definitely not me. But things have changed and this week will prove to be so thunderously emotional leading all the way up to the final. Tonight I’m expecting all kinds of heart-ripping, soul sobbing sentiment if yesterday’s web video about the letters is any indicator. Which is completely unlike Michelle, who is normally...
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Dear Justin Bieber, We write to you on behalf of the children living under the care of an orphanage. It is a good organization and we have grown to love these children a lot. We spend a lot of time with these kids and along the way we volunteers came together and recorded a track and made a music video of their favourite song- As Long as You Love Me. They voted for it all by themselves. At first we could not understand why they loved this song so much. But as we spent hours in the beatboxing, singing, recording, video editing sessions we began to really listen to the words of your song and began to understand what this song meant to these kids. We initially made this video for fun simply because they loved you so much. Over the course of the two years that served as the run up to...
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Dear Mr. Stone, I am an academic historian who likes to think he has some knowledge of world events during the past centuries. I am someone who has watched and thought about some of your better films and who had the good fortune to have been in Kyiv on the Maidan in November-December 2013. I was appalled and distressed when I read that a person of your stature had decided he would make a film about Ukraine’s ousted dictator Victor Yanuovych. What unsettled me was not your idea about interviewing a dictator on film. Documentaries about surviving ousted dictators are important and useful. What I found appalling was not only that you seem to share his interpretation of his fate, but that you seem to attach particular significance to that interpretation. You seem actually to...
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