u deserve better…
To the guy in High School who I thought would be my husband, I deserved better.
To the guy who I should of never got back with after he cheated, I deserved better.
To the guy who was verbally abusive, I deserved better.
To the 20+ people who watched as my ex yelled in my face and NO ONE moved to help me as tears rolled down my face, I deserved better.
To the girl who tricked me into going with her to the bathroom with her because she was “scared to go alone” only to lead me to my ex who scared me with verbal and physical abuse I would receive that night, I deserved better.
To the guy who wrote me love letters everyday only to find out you did the same to another girl at our school, I deserved better
To the guy who tried to stop me from going out of state for college on a softball scholarship, I deserved better.
To the guy who without remorse told me he purposely tried to get me pregnant so I couldn’t go out of state to college, I deserved better.
To the guy who threatened his own life if I left the relationship, I deserved better.
To the guy who hurt me for over 3 years beyond belief to the point that I would try to take my own life, I deserved better.
To the school system that failed to help me, I deserved better.
If you’ve lasted this long reading I assume you get the idea. No I wasn’t some girl who got around and had several different boyfriends; I’ve only had 2 in my 23 years of existence. This is about my last ex boyfriend and for 3 years I was in a toxic relationship that I couldn’t leave. You know that cheesy saying “After the rain comes a rainbow” yeah well I always thought that was stupid, until I was stuck in the rain for 3 years and my rainbow came afterwards. Although this course of my life was major, I can confidently say that if it weren’t for my ex boyfriend I wouldn’t be the person I am today, I wouldn’t have discovered my career path, I wouldn’t have gotten closer to God etc you know the “you go girl” stuff. It’s been almost four years since that relationship and it’s taken me a long time to emotionally recover and up until now I can’t see myself with someone because you know, Trust issues (S/O to my ex) BUT what I do know is that I deserve so much better than what has happened to me in the past, “I’m just sayin you can do better “*Drake Voice*. My only regret is that I wish I could of stood up for myself when I was constantly being used as an emotional punching bag, but now things have changed for the better and I dare some testosterone driven man try and tell me anything because they have another thing comin, you know what I’m sayin?
To all the beautiful, smart and brave people who got out of toxic relationships and who are flourishing in life right now, I love y’all.
