I know you don't want to hear this but I hope you see this.
It's been 4 months since we broke up. We still talk and see each other when we can. I just want you to know that I still love you, I'm still crazy about you, I miss you, I miss us and everything we had. I would do anything to get it back as I've been trying to do. Love is a crazy thing and I have never fought so hard for something as much as I have fought for you. I hope that it means something to you. You still mean so much to me. You are someone that it's not easy getting over and I hate how things are now.
Seeing you this past weekend was amazing but it was also very hard knowing that it was going to end so soon to only go back to what it is now. I loved spending the night with you, but also hated it at the same time. I loved it because it was like we didn't break up. Everything was the same, as if you were mine again. Laying on you, laying in your arms, scratching your head, cuddling all night, you pulling me close and kissing me when you're half asleep, being able to roll over and see you there, feeling safe, holding your hand and wishing that I didn't have to let it go, and having your company. The way that you looked at me, it felt as if we were still in love, it was as if all of our problems were behind us...it gave me hope. I miss all of it and I enjoyed every moment spent with you this past weekend. I hated it because at the end of the day, you aren't mine and everything we both miss would soon end.
You wanted to see me, like I wanted to see you. You told me you missed me several times as you held me in your arms, you miss the feeling of what we had. You know that I'm not over you and you said that you aren't done with me. I wish this was enough for us to try again. I know you're scared. I'm scared too, but I would take the risk to try again. My feelings have been all over the place with you. I want to be with you but then all these games make me not want to be with you. Then I hate thinking of not having you in my life and it kills me. Being friends with you is so hard but if it has to be hard for you to still be in my life then I'd take it. I hate that you are not on my journey anymore and I hate that I'm not on yours.
I wish you knew how serious I am about you and about us. I don't want their to be any hurt between us. I wish we could put everything behind us and have our feelings about each other take us somewhere. Everything was so easy with you and I loved that and miss it so much.
I pray that things can go back to how it was when we were in love. If not then okay but, I hope you read this because I just wanted you to know the thoughts that have been going on in my head.
