You don't know it, but you're the reason I'm still alive today... That first night we met I was so ready to give my life, I felt as though I'd lost everything. When your hand touched my face, when you looked me in the eyes and you told me I was beautiful... that was the first time in years I'd believed it.
I remember being kind of drunk, and I tried so hard to hook up with you that night. But you remembered when I told you I didn't put out right away, and so you waited, and you made me wait, you made us wait until you asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with you.
I remember the moment I knew I loved you, you were already asleep and I was almost there. And in that moment I realized I had never been able to fall asleep with anyone like that before. Your arms wrapped around me so tight, I felt so safe. And then I was terrified.. because I never let myself get close to anyone anymore, but with you I had no choice.
I remember the first night you said 'I love you', I cried. Because I couldn't believe that someone as incredible as you could love someone so damaged like me...
Over the short time we've been together you've shown me how much you love me, you prove to me everyday that what we have is real. And everyday I start to believe in love again, everyday you make me feel like I should be the best I can be.
You have so much patience for me, for my past, for my mental health... the guy before you, he left me a mess. As if I was a bloody, bruised, empty, shell of the person I once was. And life was not kind to me... but every day I feel like I'm getting closer to the person I use to be.
Sometimes I get scared, and because of that I get irrational and angry.. and every time I expect you to yell, or hit me, or leave. But you never do... You hold me close, you always try to fix the problems I'm dealing with. And words could never explain how that makes me feel, how much it means to me.
I want to give you the world, because you deserve it. And everyday I feel disappointed for not being able to give you everything you deserve. But you've always reminded me how happy I make you, and how you feel your life has been better since I've come into it. I'll still spend my life trying to give you everything, but I'm happy to know that in the mean time I'm still doing something.
So thank you, for all your patience, kindness, help, advice, respect, and love. And thank you for all the little things you do for me, they may not be huge acts of love like the ones you see on tv. But the consistency is what I need, it gets me through my days knowing I have someone like you by my side.
You may not know this but 5 months ago you saved my life, and I never thought I would ever see the day where I could say I'm so happy to be alive. xoxo
