I sit back in disbelief asking myself how? How could my 1st love who I thought at the time was perfect, Caring, grown, responsible, & fun turn out to be the exact opposite? The "man" who said, "I'll ALWAYS be there for you and our daughter." How could you just leave her? I was crying, falling to the ground, couldn't breath holding our child as you hopped in your friends car who drove from TN where your from to pick you up. You tried to comfort me before you left. Your exact words were, "Ill always be here if you need me." I felt numb & afraid. I was going to be a new mother by myself to this 2 month old little girl who will be 6 in 15 days. She knows about you. I'm sure to only say good things about you to her because as she's still little she wouldn't understand if I told her that her bio daddy wants nothing to do with her. shed be confused thinking what did I do? why doesn't my daddy want to see me? SO, as her mommy I am doing my best to protect her from that while I still can, she's getting older now Bryan, She wonders. What you look like, why she has two daddy's because the daddy she has in her life never left her. She loves him dearly. She could have loved you dearly. Even with Matt in her life she would love the BOTH of you. There were many times I had messaged you via Facebook to beg you to see her and talk to her. You called my phone every night for a month & suddenly we never heard from you again. I bet you don't even think of her daily. I bet your life hasn't changed a bit. I bet your still out partying. Getting high. Living the life of a teenager. I bet you still don't have a job and your probably living with a friend. I bet you have another new girlfriend and she knows nothing of what you left behind in Illinois. I bet when you speak of me to people who knows about Mel, You tell them its my fault. I wont let you see her or speak to her. I would never tell you that you aren't aloud to see her or talk to her. There were times you would tell me she isn't your child. You wanted a DNA test. You wanted to give up all your rights JUST because I would ask for help financially. I didn't bother with child support. I knew you wouldn't hold onto a job long enough to give any. You've not ever seen her crawl, walk, talk, laugh, sing, play in the rain, blow out candles or make her 1st wish. You weren't there for her when she was scared because its dark in her room. To tell her there's no such things as monsters & daddy wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to her. Bryan, You missed her 1st days of school. You've missed out on everything your going to wish you could have back. Her love is amazing. She is loving, caring, beautiful, shy, hilarious, & most amazing big sister to her two younger sisters. Her heart is wonderful. pure. She knows no such thing as hate. She is smart. she can read, count over 150, write her full name and the full alphabet. she has your skin tone, Your eyes, & hair. Spitting image of her absent parent. I wonder how you can live with yourself.. I have so much anger towards you. Your selfish. You care only about yourself. Remember how you grew up without a father? How could you let your only child do the same? I bet you would be a different man if your dad hadn't died before you were born. I bet your dad was great person, He would probably be disappointed in you right now. I know when Mel gets older, She will be. She will want to find you and see you. She will want you to answer all her questions. I bet your heart will break when you see what kind of damage you will cause her if you never try to be a part in her life. I never asked you to not try to be in her life. That was your doings. You will regret not knowing this amazing little girl you helped create, and left. I'm sorry you will grow to realize how you messed up not trying to stay apart in her life. My heart aches for her when she grows up to realize just how selfish and full of yourself you really are.
