B,
I have to tell you that I never thought that this would be us ... never thought that we would be the two on opposite sides ... never thought that we would be apart for any more than what the job or our life made us be apart ... you were my world you were the one person that no matter what was always supposed to be there through the good ..the bad .. the everything ... I don't know why you have done these things to me I don't know why you fought sixteen years just to end up at square one ... You ran ... when I finally exposed your lies and addictions in black and white ... When I could finally prove that I wasn't crazy ... all the lies to our daughters ... The lies you told to "our" friends ... Lies that you told your "good" friend who was quick to fill me in on how I was made out to be the most absolute horrible wife all throughout my hometown that I hadn't visited in almost ten years (because I gave up family for you) ... When in reality the image you were painting for attention was all YOU and what you were doing!!
The amount of money spent in keeping your habits going ... From the drugs to the countless women throughout the country that you "hooked" up with either from one of the thousands of "dating sex" sites I found to the one homewrecker Tina who married / divorced / remarried all while you were having an ongoing relationship ...
You spent every chance possible to humiliate me in one way or another to our neighbors my daughters my co-workers or anyone that would listen to how perfect you were ... You took away all of ME and made me into a spineless weak shell of a person ...
From the age of 13 I had a connection with you ... My best friend ... Though we both married others for a short time and , both had a daughter with those respective spouses we always remained in touch even at 1000 miles apart and then you swooped in just like in a movie with your charm and your promises of everlasting undying love ... All LIES ...
I will probably never know who u truly are ... You have what YOU want ... YOU have the ability to now do this again to someone else and I pray that she isnt as blinded by your ability to manipulate and lie as I was ... I pray that YOU never have any more children that have to live that horrible lie because it has undoubtedly screwed up our so called "family" ... YOU took everything ... Everything I was ... Everything I thought I would be and mashed me into this "person". I will never understand I will never get why .... although like anyone that has been through something like this I wonder why ... why u didn't ... why u did ... how ... who was that person that sat and calmly lied to my face lied to their "friends" lied to their children ?? Who was I actually married to? Who was that man that I thought was my "heart" my "soul" my "true" love of life??????? Why was I so naive? How many times did you laugh as I was at home raising our daughters ... Working full time ... College full time ... raising your granddaughter... raising "our" "family"???? While you worked In that semi and made all of us feel miserable for even being the slight bit of happy because as you told us you had no life ... All you did was work ... All you got was a few days every month or so home so that you could be a paycheck as you so graciously told our children ... How many times were you with another when you made the phone calls and said you were "exhausted" how many times were you actually with any truth "talking" to "me???" Was any of the last 16 years true?? I know I will never get these answers ... I know that no matter how "broken" you made me I will rise up again and I will be ok ... I know you can no longer hurt me ... I know the TRUE you!!!! I know that you can move to another state and start over with ur charm and never think twice about what u did here leaving it so called family with $2 an eviction and a repo ... and I know you never cared and never will ... All I need to know is that I am better than you in every way possible ... we all know the truth ... . I feel sorry for her, the new victim that is going to believe ur lies. I feel sorry for her children ... It's hard in my position as I come off as the crazy ex to her with your lies ... I warned her which is more than I ever got...
Most of all I feel the utmost sadness for our youngest daughter who actually thinks that our so called "marriage" is the way life is supposed to be ... just know one thing B.. I will not let one more second be wasted trying to understand you or what you are ... lord knows I have spent way too much of my life trying to be someone to u ... whether u read this or not doesn't much matter but I had to send it for me ... I need to be able to say goodbye to my "best friend" who never existed and to say "I loved u so deeply" to that husband that never existed and to say "I hate you"; to that narcissist that I met and to say "you are a horrible parent" to that half ass father that doesn't care about his kids unless it benefits him ... you were once everyone and everything to me ... now you are a just a bad memory of a time that I am so glad is over and done ... goodbye to whoever you are today at this very second in this very minute ON this very day that you may read this ...
Your "wife" ... your "excuse" ... your "victim" ... your "bestfriend" ... NEVER yours again to control ... GOODBYE
KLMP
