This is a letter to a special girl. A special person who exceeds expectations wether i like to admit it to her or not. She is someone who isnt used to my ways of doing things but still tries her hardest to prove i deserve her and she deserves me. This is a one in a million kind of girl. Check that, once in a lifetime kind of girl. This girl is so much more than a fairytale. She is the real thing. She's more than just a simple " i love this girl " kind of girl. She is a " i love this girl because she makes me feel real and amazing " kind of girl. This is about an angel that has never give up on me.
To keep her identity a secret we'll call her April for arguments sake. Now April is a small girl. Not much mass to fight back physically, but dont let that fool you because she has the heart and energy of a lioness. She will rip you to shreds if you step up to her. April knows how to stand her ground and doesnt go down without a fight. She is the only girl that im scared of. April is the type of woman that knows what she wants and what she deserves. The type of woman that says what she believes and doesnt hold back because she doesnt have time to be played or humiliated. Always there if you truly need her to be. Independant and strong willed. Doesnt take bullshit as an answer. Well thats what i thought anyways...
Recently April has been dealing with drama that shouldnt even exist in her life. She's been fighting emotionally everyday and it is visible that she is drained. It is visible that she has been fighting for someone she truly cares about because if she didnt care she wouldnt stick around. She wouldnt take time every night and day to make sure this person was okay and safe. She wouldnt have to stay up at night crying wondering if her efforts are even visible. To make things clearer, i am that person. I am the one that has been making her feel as if her efforts havent been good enough. i take time out of my day to tell her that she doesnt appreciate me enough when in reality i havent appreciated her nearly enough as she deserves. Im the bullshit that shes been dealing with, and she hasent left yet and its obviously because she wants us to work. I tell her constantly that she doesnt care, that she doesnt love me, that she doesnt prove herself to me. What kind of person says that to the person they supposedly love. How could someone tell their partner that they arent trying.. How could i be so selfish and blind this whole time. This whole time ive been saying that shes been letting go when in reality its been me. Ive been the one expecting her to treat me how i deserve when it doesnt work like that. She deserves to be treated as my equal, nothing less. When i take the time to really think about it, she hasnt done anything wrong. She has been supportive of me and my issues and helped me when ive needed it. Ive given my support to her aswell but it hasnt been to the best of my ability and she deserve that. She is the type of girl who deserves a partner that will fight as she fights. To love her unconditionally and always protect her. She has dreams of a future and i feel as if i have only been ruining those dreams. Dragging her down and turning her away from her goals. What she doesnt understand is that i am here for her ready to make a difference in her life. Ready to make her feel loved and cared about and good enough. Ready to be the partner she deserves...
I promise to love you for every moment of forever,
and when everything else crumbles,
i will never.
To the girl who stole my heart, stole my love, and stole my attention. Forever you can keep it because i never want it back. You are my now and forever. We be we.
-Sincerely with love from the boy who cant live without you.
