“Dad”,
I’ve got to say you have to be the one person who has hurt me the most yet you aren’t even a part of my life. You were the first man I called Dad, but you certainly did not earn that. I guess that’s what hurts the most. You were never there for me, and you are the one person in life who is supposed to be. I was supposed to be “daddy’s little princess” or “daddy’s little girl”, but you never gave me the chance to be. I am now nearly eighteen years old and the only thing you’ve ever given me is a broken heart.
You were supposed to be my dad, the one person I can go to with all of my problems. The person that keeps me from harm.
You missed seeing me grow up. You missed four birthdays, four Christmases, when I got my driver's license, and most likely you will not only miss my high school graduation but my college graduation too. You missed everything. Sometimes, I will admit that I do think about you and I wonder if you ever think about me. Every year when my birthday rolls around am I on your mind? On Father’s day, do you consider yourself a father of four or five? It’s never really added up in my head to why you would want to miss such important events, but maybe it was the fact that you had too much pride of self doubt to step up to the plate. Honestly you’re the one that missed out.
What about the time you saw me out and about? You let me walk right past you without saying one word. That probably has to be the thing that bothers me the most. How could you do that? Just let me pass you by without a smile, nod or a quick hello. You acted like you had no idea who I was, as if I wasn’t your daughter and as if I didn’t exist. I spent fifteen years of my life trying to mend our relationship before I realized it was far too late. But I’ve realized that it’s not worth it. You’re not worth it.
I am very lucky to have a man in my life that will never leave my side, although I am not a very big fan of the term “step-dad”, because when I do refer to him in a conversation he is my dad, I’ve known him for eighteen years, and has been more of a father then you have ever been. I am not trying to down you. Maybe you were just dealing with some stress and didn’t know how to deal with it, or maybe having to actually being a parent was too much for you to handle. You should know that he handled it and was the one person that has always been there.
However “Dad”, I have finally found the courage inside of me to forgive you. I am finally happy with myself; are you?
