This letter is a long time coming. Some may say that it is a letter 20 years in the making. Some will wonder if you'll even read it. But I am certain that you will read it for I know you better than anyone else on Earth.
Why? Because I haunt you. I am on your mind constantly. My name, my face, my voice, my hair, my scent are forever imprinted on your memory. And while I'm clearly most certainly alive...I haunt you. And I will for the rest of your life and will continue to do so when you find yourself in hell.
I used to question how you could live with yourself after all the things that you did to me. I mean seriously how do you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror knowing the horrible, evil, selfish and manipulative things that you did? Does it light up with World's Largest Douchebag when you stare at your reflection? Do soul-less narcissists even have a reflection?!
You took years from my life.
You took the future I thought I had and unveiled it as a woven web of lies.
You took the life of my first child. Our child! Once when you wished it dead, and again when you caused my miscarriage.
You took my trust and abused it.
You took my innocence and shattered it.
You took my faith and destroyed it.
You took my generosity and threw it in the trash.
You took my compassion and mocked it.
You took my soul and twisted it.
You took my health and comprised it.
You took my life and played Russian Roulette with it.
You took my heart and broke it.
You took my love and killed it.
You took the girl who fell in love with you and played her.
You took the woman who loved you inspite of your flaws and murdered her.
Yet you are Forgiven. Not absolved because I am not your God nor Creator and only he can absolve you of the horrors and sins you've committed.
But you are Forgiven, because I refuse to carry the burden of hate and anger for the rest of my life.
For I know that you are weak and lack remorse or guilt.
For I know that you are living in pure misery.
For I know you are suffering.
For I know your living hell is far worse than any revenge I could bestow.
For I know you will search for me everywhere you go.
For I know I will always be the One.
For I know that Karma found you all on her own.
For I know in forgiving you I free myself from the scars and shackles of loving you so much for so long.
I'm done. I'm free. I'm alive. I've survived. I'm at peace.
Yours nevermore.....Bella
