Dear buzzfeed,
I didn't really know who to email for this so
I just thought I'd send it and see if I can explain. I love all your videos particularly the series on "I am...but I am not" and find them so inspirational after my own problems. I should probably state I suffer from poor mental health, simple fact and not something I let stop me unfortunately it does stop other people and most recently my school.
I've already moved once after I faced severe homophobic bullying and when coming to my second new school in two years I was determined new step new start, the problem "new" is very hard when covered in very old scars! I spent all summer agonising over bio oil and long sleeve shirts but came to the conclusion this is me, I will be strong and so did not hide my arms when I first started. I was met by nothing but good feedback from my friends and peers and was constantly told I was brave and how amazing they thought it was. In my mind all was well and my confidence blossomed; until my room mate went to house mistress with concerns (I understand why she was concerned and have spoken to her and were good) the problem is my teacher. I was told to "be more careful" and through my own tears later realising I may not be able to attend a school singing activity as it was short sleeve shirts that it was best to keep it "contained" and that I should not attend because it might "be a backwards step" you know "make it a bigger thing", now if you're still reading and if you are well done your a more patient person than me please remember I had no "thing" the problem was with this one staff member. So dear buzzfeed, after now several weeks of low mood binge eating and self consciousness I want to remind all you lovely people; my scars are my scars they do not define me but they do mean something. They mean I was strong enough to stare death in the face and say not today because I am worth more than them. My scars mean That I am worth so much more than a mark on my body. If I hide them then what do they mean?
So dear buzzfeed please do me a favour don't make videos on what birth marks and stretch marks mean as scars make s video on how scars real scars are not something to hide.
These are my battle scars, this is my story and I carry it with me everyday in my arms, my legs and all over my body. I will not hide it, I will not forget it and I will not ever be ashamed of it.
Thanks for listening
Rachel, a suicide attempt survivor
