Going through a break up is never particularly pleasant, especially when it appears to almost come out of the blue. But what made things all the more difficult for me was when I first realised that my ex is going out with a friend of mine.
Trying to process this fact only confused me more and all sorts of thoughts entered my head, from 'did he want to see her instead of me the while time?', to 'has she just been waiting for him to break it off so she can step in?'. But the question that most resonated in my mind was how could a supposed good friend do something like this to me?
In a way I'm not surprised by my ex's actions and I don't particularly blame him for doing this but for a friend to do something like this is incomprehensible to me. It has left me feeling stupid and embarrassed and I haven't got the heart to tell my other friends how this has left me feeling. In fact it has me questioning whether they know about it and have heard it from the other side as it were.
The roller coaster of emotions that I have felt over the last week have been exhausting. They range from depression to anger as I want to make you both pay for your deceit. You can see how this situation is such an uncomfortable one for anyone. But not least because a friend I have confided in and trusted has stabbed me in the back...the only saving grace might be if they were to actually stay together for a considerable amount of time.
I know these feelings will subside and I will look back on it and feel silly for letting it get to me so much but I just don't like the thought that two people I have been close to are giggling behind my back.
What I have found is that after a bit of time you soon begin to realise that you aren't the one who should feel silly or embarrassed, rather it is the actions of your ex and your 'good' friend that are unacceptable and stupid. Whoever seeks to gain by taking advantage of a friend or trying to influence a relationship of their's isn't worthy of your friendship. The reason that they're enjoying the relationship is most likely down to the fact that it is exciting and forbidden, chances are that once it becomes accepted then they will become bored of one another and move on...only the girl might have lost a few friends by the end of it.
Something your friends should realise is that once you have broken up with some one, there is a chance that the ex will try and bag one of your friends purely out of spite. Of course this isn't always going to be the case but it is plausible. So think twice before you betray a friendship and fall into that trap.
I have realised that this is just another experience and how you choose to deal with it will speak volumes about you. Yes I was initially heartbroken that a friend could do this to me but I refuse to get into a cat fight about it and give my ex the bragging rights that girls are fighting over him. It has also been an opportunity for me to see who my real friends are and I thank you for that!
So I hope you are happy together because you both deserve each other.
Sarah
