Dear rapist,
You ruined me. You ruined me, my life, and everything good I had and I hope one day you come across this letter and know the pain you put me through. I opened up to you about being raped once before, I trusted you and told you my story and you comforted me making me trust you. Naturally I had to be there for you in return so when you asked to meet behind the school to talk about your problems I came immediately. I tell myself its my fault constantly but ive come to realize I couldn't have known. I followed you into the dark on top of the hill and let you rant then hugged you. You pushed me and got on top of me saying you won't do anything I didn't want yet you ignored my attempt to escape saying I wanted it and was just "in denial"
No means no it's not a yes unless you hear the word yes. You claimed to know that but clearly you don't. Part of me believes you knew exactly what you were doing, why else would you threaten me. I told anyways, I ran into my friend immediately after and they had to comfort me in the middle of the school hallway probably scared half to death. I also told my boyfriend, he sided with you and called me a slut and a whore then eventually leaving me and taking all my friends too.
As you know I told authorities but they believed I wanted it and lied because I was in a relationship. I admit having no one believe me and even try to help me hurts, you have left me completely alone. I hope this gets out to you and you regret what you did tho you probably convinced yourself you did nothing wrong.
I want you to know how worthless I feel every second of the day sitting there thinking its all my fault. I want you to know how much you've hurt me. I want you to know how much you've taken away from me. I want you to feel how I have felt for the last year. But honestly. Not even I would wish this upon anyone. What you did to me was cruel. To just sit there and know what you have done and still manage to go on with your life pretending nothing had ever happened. It's crazy to me. How could somebody put someone through so much pain and continue on with their own life as if they didn't do it? How could other people sit there and listen to the person that got hurt and ignore it and tell them that it was their fault and that they wanted it? I can't even look in myself anymore. Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself through your eyes. I see myself. From you. Your perspective, while you were sitting on top of me. Whenever I undress I just picture you pulling my clothes off me. While, I'm trying to fight for them to stay. Whenever anyone touches me in any way, even if it's just simply the tap on my shoulder, I flinch because I think about you. I'm scared of what people will do to me now. I'm scared to trust anybody the way I trusted you. I'm afraid of opening up. It sucks, and its lonely. I look at pictures of you every day. And look at the ones you post. I'm not entirely sure why I do it. But it hurts to watch you move on all happy with your life as if you didn't leave me here, hurt, broken and alone. It angers me to know nothing had affected you. I hope you never get a girlfriend and I hope you never put her through this. And to whoever the next girl is, I hope she's smarter than I was.
- sincerely
The girl you hurt
