Dear Monica Lewinsky,
You’re a douche.
I want that to sink in for a moment.
So I hear you’re going to be in the latest edition of Vanity Fair doing a “tell all” to promote your book. I’ve read and watched the excerpts, which paint you as a victim of the scandal and what not. I have no doubt you were victimized and cast out in front of the media. I’ve seen enough “House of Cards” to understand a lot of shady back door stuff happens and frankly… I am surprised they haven’t whacked you already. Wait, my bad. That’s the Sopranos.
But it all doesn’t add up! You say all you’ve ever wanted is to distance yourself from the Clintons yet you have a book coming out 16 years after the scandal. This means you get a brand new 15 minutes of fame again! Interviews, book signings, a tour and...
Lifestyle
Dear Stacy and Clinton,
I need your help. I am going back to work from maternity leave in three months and I have NO work clothes. Literally, nothing. Well, potentially one suit might still work. You see, I've just lost a significant amount of weight, going from a size 18 to a 10. We are now past the point of being able to tailor my old clothes, as it will be more money to take them in than it will be to purchase new pieces. I need to go shopping, but an entire work wardrobe is a monumental task and my husband (Mr. Awesome) may or may not be up to the task.
I watch What Not to Wear religiously, repeats and all. Probably a little too much, to be honest, given that I can quote most of your rules by heart. Now, I think I follow the rules. But from what I can tell, most of the people on...
6,189
Dear Rep. Gutierrez:
The last few days have been disappointing. President Obama's decision to delay executive action on immigration reform is a blow to your efforts and those of your allies in the activist community. But you've already won.
Through your leadership, you have mobilized millions of Hispanics to pay attention to the political system and you've convinced the White House to take action even as Republicans in Congress have succeeded in killing immigration reform.
While this may not seem like a time to celebrate, you know that the president will take action after the election. Whatever he specifically does to ameliorate our nation's collapsing immigration system, it will be impactful. His actions will change the lives of millions of people. And I'm pretty sure that you...
2,585
Dear Ms. Clinton:
On behalf of everyone at Big Tent Judaism/Jewish Outreach Institute (JOI), I would like to congratulate you and your husband on your pregnancy. I like to say: having a child is no big deal; it just changes your whole life. As a parent—and grandparent—I am excited for you and your family.
I would also like to be the first to welcome your baby into the Jewish community. While you may not yet have decided in what faith you will raise your child, I want you to know that we consider women who have married into the Jewish community to be unsung heroes when they make the effort to raise Jewish children. As a result, we want to make sure that you are welcomed and celebrated. It is one of the reasons we developed The Mothers Circle. Sometimes raising a child in the Jewish...
2,407
Mr. Clinton:
You correctly understand that if the U.S. Export-Import Bank stops subsidizing foreigners to buy certain American exports, foreigners will buy fewer of those exports (The Hill, “Bill Clinton: Attacks on Ex-Im bank ‘ridiculous,’” Aug. 5). (You wrongly suppose that such subsidies boost the U.S. economy generally - but that’s not why I write.)
Given your understanding that buyers of good or service X buy less of it as the cost they incur to buy X rises, can we expect you to oppose efforts to raise the minimum wage? Hiking the minimum wage, after all, raises employers’ costs of hiring workers. So you surely agree that, just as raising foreigners’ costs of buying certain American exports will result in fewer such exports being purchased, raising employers’ costs of hiring...
2,533
Dear Ms. Clinton,
Congratulations! The arrival of your healthy baby granddaughter is a momentous occasion, for you and for the whole world watching. As you sit in a fancy private room, in one of the top hospitals in America (you know, the kind where you won’t be bothered by any low-income government leaches with the shitty health insurance they elected you to get), we all got a glimpse of the tiny miracle as you held her for the first time.
You’re still campaigning, even as you sit in a hospital room, moments after the birth of your first grandchild. A moment which most would consider a private, sacred time, you chose to publicize. This new baby has been a pawn in your tireless bid for the Presidency since the moment she was conceived. Some would say her birth is perfect timing. Now,...
2,838
Dear Pat Robertson,
Silly, silly man! Were you dropped on your head when you were an infant? It would seem so considering your latest, ill-conceived diatribe attacking Hillary Clinton on the 700 Club this morning. “Hillary Clinton is taking us back to the 1950s.” WTF?
Pat, in case you haven’t noticed, the only one in this pair (that would be you and Hillary) who is hanging around in the past is YOU!
Everybody knows you’re on the way out, Pat, and your mind is starting to go. You may not recall some of the things you’ve said, so here are a few reminders.
You’ve equated gay marriage to polygamy, bestiality, child molestation and pedophilia. You claim that gay people are an “abomination against God.”
Since you claim to be a man of God and all, one would think you would adhere...
2,570
Dear Arizona Legislators,
Greetings. I am sending this letter to encourage you to please vote in favor of all legislation that removes the implementation of Common Core State Standards (or standards like CCSS) and standardized testing based on CCSS (such as AZMerit and PARCC) from the state of Arizona as a requirement.
I became aware of CCSS before most due to the piloting of curriculum at my child’s school. Two of my children who began using CCSS English curriculum at their school changed before my eyes from individuals who loved to read and write in their free time to children who no longer desired to pick up a book or write. My son refused to complete English writing assignments due to the dumbed-down approach of CCSS. Like a thief in the night, the love of reading and...
2,246
Dear David Brooks:
We have never met, and I do not regularly follow your work. Because you are a public intellectual of Jewish origin, though, your spiritual peregrinations are of broader interest. It may be chutzpah for me to offer you advice, but I could not help thinking of the case of Franz Rosenzweig while reading a post at Aletaia claiming that you may convert to Christianity. Rosenzweig, one of the great Jewish thinkers of the 20th century, had decided to convert to Christianity. Raised in a secular family and trained in the high tradition of German critical philosophy, Rosenzweig nonetheless thought that he should do so as a Jew. He attended the Day of Atonement services at a Berlin shtuebl with Polish Jews, and liked it so much that he not only remained Jewish, but devoted...
3,067
Dear what’s your face,
You’re a married man. We haven’t talked for a few years since I cut you out of my life, and to be honest, I have no desire to keep in contact with you.
So, when you were off getting married to your “soul mate” whom you’ve just met a few months ago, I’ve been living on with my life and having a relationship of my own. My own soul mate.
I understand that your new wife is still out of the country, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to start texting me.
I don’t appreciate your efforts into getting back in touch with me. I don’t appreciate you calling me “hun” in your messages, or telling me to have “wet dreams” when you bid me goodnight. I don’t appreciate you dropping off instantly when I refuse your advances to meet up – why do you message me constantly...
2,544