Lifestyle

Dear Foreign Leaders of Other Countries, Should the President of the United States, or anyone else purporting to be duly authorized to make deals with any of you about anything, you should be advised that we hold elections here in this country every few years, and any deals that might be proposed or struck with you are liable to be changed, disavowed, nullified, repudiated, rescinded, or otherwise rendered moot by future elected leaders of our country. We are a fickle and forgetful people, and we change our minds about things frequently. We are not well-served by our media, and we are led by politicians who tell us what they tell us in order to please the people who bankroll their political ambitions. For these and other reasons, you should be wary about entering into agreements with...

Dear RIM, I have owned 4 BlackBerry’s over the past 5 years, and I have loved each and every one of them when I had them. I can still remember the joy in my heart when I got my very first one, this amazing feeling of importance. I needed a BlackBerry because I had emails that I needed to see in real time, and the need for internet-on-the-go. Matter of fact, 5 years ago – you looked cool having a BlackBerry – and in most cases, you made fun of everyone that didn’t have one. I embraced the calluses on my thumbs from the notorious seed-like QWERTY keyboard that only you could supply – they were badges of honor, of love for the smart-phone that I cherished so deeply. But lately… there is an emptiness in my heart where you used to reside. My love has turned into bitterness, and my...

To my son, HeartsYesterday, you turned 6 months old. I can’t even begin to express in words how much you amaze me every, single day. You are learning to roll and sit and grab. Your giggles melt my heart. Your smile warms my soul. I can’t imagine my life without you, and find it hard to remember how I existed before you were here. Yesterday also marked a sad day for our country. In North Carolina, 61 percent of voters effectively passed a constitutional amendment defining marriage as solely between a man and a woman. I know you don’t know what that means, but I’ll try to explain. Some girls love boys – like Mommy loves Daddy. But, sometimes girls love other girls, or boys love other boys. Some babies have two Mommies and some babies have two Daddies. Some people think one type of...

Dear Laurie, You’ve had to deal with a lot of shit of late. Much of this has come from from people on the right. We hear tales of threats of rape and of violence on right wing blogs and on police forums. Such people are just malicious arseholes. It would be nice if we could all ignore them. But sometimes, it’s hard to ignore it when people threaten you with physical violence, or with rape. It’s scary. No one should have to deal with that shit. Sometimes such people are called trolls. But this somewhat comic monkier doesn’t seem appropriate once they start threatening you. So, here’s what we say to these vindictive arseholes: What is it about abusing people that gets you so aroused? Is it that you are so pathetic, so weak, and so inarticulate that this is the only way you can express...