Dear Kelly,
I am writing to you publicly, to tell you how sorry I am for the recent loss of your boyfriend, Senzo Meyiwa, and the excessive attack you received via social media from people who disapproved of your role as a nyatsi (the other woman). You don’t deserve all those harsh words, my dear. You are very talented, lovely, beautiful and sometimes, God-loving young woman.
I would also like to apologise for the way men have used you over the years. I know you desire to get married, but as it is, you are still single. The result of some men’s dishonestly in your relationship with them is evident in your status as a single mother of two lovely kids; one with a father in prison and the other with a late father. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
You don’t deserve all this from men, because you are a beauty and you have brains. But it does seems your beauty overtakes your brain in some of your decision making, a case of trading physical looks for personal character.
You don’t deserve all this rubbish from men because all cheating men tell their girlfriends they will divorce their wives. Sad as it may be, I am sure that Senzo probably sold you the same dummy. It’s the best and oldest line married men use to score beautiful single women like you.
You don’t deserve all this nonsense from men because you are worth so many cows for lobola, but your family hasn’t received a single cow yet.
You don’t deserve all this abuse from men because everybody around you may have told you it was not your fault; that it was all your ex-boyfriend’s fault.
You don’t deserve all this lack of appreciation from men because some men are in a relationship or married. It was only for “fun” and “just sex”.
You don’t deserve all these lies from men because your “fun” with a married man means a lot of pain to another woman. What about girl code? “Sleeping with a guy who’s in a relationship will hurt someone”.
I remember you back in 2003 when as a 20 year old with your 12 year old sister Zandile, you competed in the talent search of SABC 1’s gospel programme Crux. You did well. At the time you had mentioned that, and I quote you, “I’ve wanted to sing gospel all my life. Winning the competition will mean I’ll be able to tell people about God. To me gospel music is not just about singing, it’s about ministering to people as well.”
Today, with all the fame I wonder what happened to that innocent, lovely and honest girl. The best way to minister to people as you’d mentioned back in 2003 is to be honest, show integrity, transparency and refuse to be the other woman. That is what one calls being a bearer of good news.
I would like to suggest that next time you get an opportunity to enter into a relationship with someone who is in another relationship or married, walk away from all that and avoid all the self, spiritual and corporate damage. Unfortunately Senzo will never be your husband even if he’d planned to divorce his wife, Mandisa, because he is now no more.
In any case, it doesn’t work that way. You would have broken Godly principles of marriage if you did.
I will be praying for you for a God fearing husband.
Sincerely,
One Woman Husband – with no girlfriend
