Dear freshman,
I know you don't think you need any advice or counsel from some guy who is old enough to have a niece in college, but I am offering it to you anyway. When I was in your situation, I would have loved for a pastor to spend an hour with me and talk with me about what to expect and what to make priorities in my life for the next few years. But I was too afraid to ask. You might be too. So here, I am just going to do the next best thing for you, and that is share just a few thoughts that if considered and taken seriously may definitely help you to get off to a good start and head in the right direction.
1) Introduce yourself to as many people as you can on campus. Introduce yourself to the classmates you sit by. To your professors. To your professors' teaching assistants. To the cafeteria staff. To the students living on your floor or your wing, even if the first time you meet them is in the shower. This will help you to establish relationships with others much more quickly, and will do the job of breaking the ice early. The ice does get harder and thicker the longer you wait to introduce yourself to others you may spend the next three or four years with, so just do it as soon as you can. You'll be amazed at the friendships you will begin.
2) Communicate early and often with your roommate. Whether or not you will enjoy your college experience will depend greatly on how well you get along with your roommate. Maybe you are good friends prior to college and that is why you chose to live together, or maybe the first time you meet is when you move in to your dorm. Whatever the case may be, be intentional about communicating early and often. Work out your living arrangements. Get to know each others' class and activity schedules. Talk about how you want your room set up. Settle early whether or not you will be eating together at the cafeteria or both being on your own. Get an understanding of whether or not you are sharing your food and drinks with each other or not. You don't have to be best friends with your roommate to have a good experience, but it will help you tremendously to just be able to communicate with one another early on in the relationship, and then regularly as the year goes on.
3) Don't Skip Chapel. This is primarily for Christian college students but it can also apply to students at state schools which have campus ministries. College is such a unique time where you will have the opportunity to hear a great variety of different people share either from God's Word or from their experiences within the context of a chapel service. Not everyone who speaks or shares will be helpful. On the majority of college campuses, not many will even be biblical with their worldview and teaching. But its good for you to be there to hear the different perspectives and points of view that come onto campus, plus you getting in the habit of chapel attendance will assure that you will be there when the strong Bible teacher or on-fire missions speaker shows up through which God will give you direction or your calling. Looking back on my time as a student at Northwestern College, I wish I wouldn't have skipped so many chapels.
4) Get Involved in a Local Church. Find a good, solid, Bible-preaching local church. This will help you to get through the host of left-leaning chapel speakers you will listen to on campus. This will also help you to really get to know what being a part of a local church is like since you are now on your own, and not just attending with your parents. Get to know the people there. If a family invites you over for dinner, accept their invitation. Don't make up some excuse like you really need to get back to campus and study (they'll know you're lying). Allow the church family to serve you but at the same time, find a way to serve the church while you are there. When you find a good church, become a member. Volunteer in their youth ministry, or their nursery, or their worship team. Join a small group in the church and not just one made up of other college students. Get to know families with children, and older retired couples. Meet and get to know the pastor or pastors. College is not a four-year vacation from church. No college on-campus ministry can take the place of a local church. If you don't know where to begin to look, talk to your pastor at your home church and ask him for recommendations. Taking this bit of advice may help you thrive in your college experience more than any other.
5) Avoid the Party Scene. I have never met anyone who did avoid drinking parties and then later in their adult lives regretted it. No one ever regrets keeping themselves away from trouble, heart-ache, and impurity. Regrets will surely come however, if you put yourself in a situation where something stupid may very likely happen, or you have a much greater chance of doing something stupid. There is plenty of enjoyment to be had and many great people to get to know without having to do it in the context of guys and gals pouring excessive amounts of beer down their throats, and trying to challenge each other to participate in risky behavior. The friends who will do you the most good, and who will truly care for you in college and beyond are those who wouldn't encourage you to make a fool of yourself at some frat party.
6) Get Serious About Your Daily Bible Reading and Prayer. Now is definitely the time to get serious about this. You will need to be swimming in God's promises and God's truth daily to keep your faith strong in college. Dealing with the atheistic theories and worldview presented to you in classes and even sometimes in chapel. Handling the challenges that the college social life will throw at you. Preparing yourself for the calling that God has for you in the future. All these things will greatly be helped by your daily spending time in God's Word and praying for His help and for understanding. Use a strong Bible reading resource. I would highly recommend this one here. Or this one here. But use something. Commit yourself to a time and place to do your daily Bible-reading. Tell someone else about it who can hold you accountable. And then do it.
I have limited myself to these six things. I could definitely write more. But I think you'll be doing pretty well if you really get this. Never forget there are many people in your life who you know to be doing pretty well in their adult lives now, who could probably give you some help and counsel if you just asked them. Enjoy these days and this time, but always remember, you have most of your life to enjoy after college, and this is the time to prepare yourselves for the rest of your life.
Sincerely,
Clinton D. Hogrefe, M.Div, NWC Red Raider Alumni Class of '97
