It seems like just yesterday when we met. Holding hands and staying out late with the music blaring and the windows down. The feeling of your hands holding my face and the sound of your voice begging me to never let go, that will never fade away. But those summer nights did. For three and a half years we fought to stay together. We beat all the odds and always ended up on top. We did things I told myself I'd never do and you brought out the best in me. You taught me what freedom felt like.
But you also taught me pain. I remember the first time you yelled at me and pushed me down. I didn't care. It was my fault. I apologized.
I remember the first time you lied to my face when the truth was right in front of me. Again, I apologized.
I remember giving up my dreams and my future to do what you asked me to do. I remember crying for still wanting those things... But then apologizing for thinking I could make those dreams come true.
I remember the time you begged me to move in with you, to risk my relationship with my family and to forget everyone else. I remember crying myself to sleep for hurting them and then apologizing when you yelled at me for it.
I remember when you asked me to marry you. You gave me a ring and promised you'd change and I remember feeling like we had finally gotten through the storm. But then I remember you telling your friends I made you propose to me. That I was crazy and threatened you. And I apologized for that too despite the fact it wasn't true.
I remember you never coming home. I remember spending five nights at a time without feeling you next to me and telling you how it brought back my depression from months ago. You told me I just was begging for attention, and I apologized for wanting to spend time with you.
But then I remember realizing I deserved more. I remember taking my ring off and you finding it, telling everyone I cheated on you. I remember coming home from work to you telling me you were leaving and we were done. I remember crying and I remember yelling.
But then I don't remember because you pushed me into a wall and next thing you know your hitting me and I'm on the floor.
It's been months now. I'm finally starting to get over you. I've found someone that tears me better than you ever did.
I see you and your new girls pictures and it doesn't hurt anymore and that how I know I've moved on. Because I'm happy that you're happy. And I realized that you taught me a lot over those years.
You taught me who my real friends were and although sometimes it hurt, you were brutally honest. through your bad habits, you taught me that the value of life was not money, but rather family. You taught me how I should never be treated and you taught me to be happy on my own. You taught me that I didn't need someone to get through life because within those three years you taught me that I never really had you.
So thank you for all the lessons, and thank you for all the memories that I'm still trying to forget. But most of all thank you for teaching me I deserve better. I deserve better than you, and I deserve to be happy again.
