Hi, mom. I was sitting around tonight after our argument and thinking of ways to make it up to you and I thought about writing you a letter. You know, back when I would write a few measly apologetic sentences on a piece of scrap paper in my hardly legible handwriting and slide it under your door after knowing that I had hurt you? I actually started to write one when I realized two things.
The first being that getting a sad letter from your 19-year-old daughter isn't nearly half as cute or effective as it was 10 years ago. The second thing that I came to terms with was the fact that even after 10 years I'm still trying to make it up to you.
The truth is that no matter how amazing of a mom you are, and no matter how many times I tell myself that I am not going to argue with you again, or talk back to you; I will still fall short of those promises. Not because you have set unrealistic standards for me as your daughter, but because you are always going to be the one beside me when I am going through tough times and, unfortunately, you'll be the one to see me at my worst. I realize that every time that I hurt you, or talk back to you, or get mad at you when in reality I'm only mad at myself, I'm taking advantage of your unconditional love and selflessness that you give to me. Are we going to fight again in the future? Yes. Am I going to feel horribly guilty and ungrateful afterward? Yes. But one promise that will never break, and will continue to do every second of every day in between my small lapses, is to do everything I can to make you proud.
I promise to love others the way that you have taught me to love- tenderly and wholeheartedly, and to be as selfless as you are for the people that you love. I promise to show you that although I may have days where the world is my enemy and you just so happen to be the innocent bystander that gets to listen to me complain- because of the way that you are and the way that you taught me to be, you have raised a girl that you can be proud of, and would do anything in the world to prove that to you.
I love you, mom. Thank you for not only who you are, but who I am because of the person that you are.
Love forever,
Your daughter
