An Open Letter to the Girl Whose Friend Stared at Her and Chews with Her Mouth Open

Subject: An Open Letter to the Girl Whose Friend Stared at Her and Chews with Her Mouth Open
From: A Girl Who Understands
Date: 19 Feb 2016

You thought she was your friend. You moved in together, watched Netflix together, you played in the snow together; you did everything together. Until she started staring at you and chewing with her mouth open constantly.
You wanted to come home, sit down, relax and unwind from your college classes but you couldn’t. Not without her eyes burning into the back of your skull. You try to sleep, but you couldn’t not without the constant echo of her teeth gnawing on flaming hot Cheetos. You couldn’t even step out of the shower without making eye-contact with her and immediately screaming, “Why the hell are you in my bathroom, it’s 3am for God’s sake, I thought I could have one minute to myself?”
She was your best friend. She loved One Direction, she never felt emotion, she barely ever left the couch, and sometimes, if you were lucky, her hair was really greasy. She was everything you needed in a roommate and more, but she changed, and there was nothing you could do to stop her.
You miss the way she threatened your life, and that’s okay. You have to learn how to threaten your own life, now. You miss the way she threw spoons at you when you were minding your own business, but now you have to get other people to throw spoons at you, and that’s why you’re having trouble making more friends.
You need to know that you aren’t alone in this; your family, your high school friends, that girl in your calculus that bullies you, that weird and rude Maddie girl that you sometimes see on campus, they’re all there for you.
Don’t ever forget how you felt on the day One Direction broke up and you broke up with your boyfriend. Your best friend is still in there, somewhere deep in that empty, black hole of a soul of hers.