I was maybe in 11 th grade when Id first seen this quote which went like “the more you love someone , he came to think, the harder its to tell. You don’t go and say ‘I love you ‘to a complete stranger.”
As naïve I was to quotes and reluctant in lovey-dovey stuffs, it didn’t strike me as much. I had simply refuted it as “clueless”. Well at this juncture of life, however, I do admit that it was the only” legitimate “ quote I’ve seen so far in my life.It really is the hardest thing to confess love to the only girl you love and who also happens to be your best friend. Girl its really tough to tell you , trust me on this.
Call me silly but I have been in love with you since I came to know you, Not the day I first met you. I saw you from across where I was sitting in guitar class and you were wearing the same dress as all of the girls. But you had this midnight black hair which plunged softly on your shoulder. And the way your cherry red lips parted when you spoke was a beauty on its own. Your uniform embraced your wasp waist and tender body softly. And those eyes. They are like the most mysterious thing I’v seen. Enclaved below a perfect crescent shaped eyebrow your eyes are this mixture of mystery and beauty intertwined. On any other circumstances I would have instantly been hit by a thousand lightning bolts seeing this beautiful creature that could not have been sculpted any better. But for some reason it didn’t strike me like that. Maybe I was too busy being a narcissist. but id felt this urge to talk to you. And as I had expected you were fun to talk to. So much so that the very next day we were talking late hours.
Amazingly you are all the thing I like in a person. You are this sarcastic jerk while being the most caring person iv ever come across.. Do you know how big a fan I am of your musings? All the rubbish ideas you come up with to escape this mess we all are in? or the complains you put up against the teachers? And the pranks you always plan ahead of an exam and end up studying while constantly cursing? Or the otherwise goofy smile you put up had it not been for your beautiful face, when I ask poke you with stupid questions.
But I didn’t fall in love with you because you are my best friend I love spending time with you; not until I saw through your cracks. Your cracks in the vessel that seems to be perfectly in shape and intermittent. Like John Green had said how we are all these big vessels. And we only see through each other when theres a cracked opening. and boy did I see through that cracked wall.
It took me days to realize I had actually fallen in love with you. Do you know the first couple of seconds when you re on a rollercoaster and as it clims up and your heart starts beating so fast that it might practically burst out of your chest? Leaning back you build the strength to scream in deaf muted tones and you wonder if you can turn around? But then the cart slides down and you have the absolutely best feeling ever. And as days are passing I am falling deeper and deeper down the track . falling deeply in love with you. Its really hard to stop the cart now that its in motion.
Love is difficult for me. . Why? Well, to be honest, Love scares me. I am especially afraid that I will leap into the abyss of Love first but you will never join me. That I will fall blindly into Love and you will not be there to catch me, understand me. I have seen your reluctancy in relations and that scares me. And I don’t know the flow of emotion going inside you and that scares me even more. Some might call me coward for this but suffice it to say you are too valuable to lose. so I keep my screams deaf inside as I keep swiveling down the tracks. I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you at all.
Sincerely, the boy who cant ask you out.