An open letter to the girl that got away

Subject: An open letter to the girl that got away
Date: 3 Oct 2016

To the girl that got away:
i'm writing this because I just can't get everything I want to say to you through any other way. I hope you'll read all the way through. I want to start with I am glad you are happy and life is going well for you, I'm glad you found someone else that makes you happy. I also want to say I'm not mad at you for leaving, you probably should have left my earlier, it took me losing you to see what I was doing and the person I was, looking back it makes me sick to think of the man I was at that time and I'm sorry you knew me then. I thought that time would make things go away and we would go our own paths, it it didn't for me. I have thought about you every single day since December and it's worse and worse. I tried dating others to move on but I realized that I'm just broken and incapable of loving anyone else. I know you have fallen Inlove with someone else now and y'all are serious, but I won't be able to move forward with my life if I don't at least tell you how it is. I still to this day love you. Every time my phone goes off I just pray it's you and my heart sinks every time it's not. I wonder a lot of times if you ever think about me or miss me, and the worst part is that I don't think you do.

I was having a long time with my best friend about him leaving to Texas to move the love of his wife to be there, but he was talking about how he would do anything for her, even as far as leaving his football career, family, and me his best friend to be with her in Texas. I realize that to this day I would still do anything for you. With my new job I have I can end up going anywhere, and I spent hours convincing myself that moving to nc is out of the picture. But even the smallest hope is enough to make me do it. I would still to this day drop anything and everything on the spot for you, and if I had a .0001 percent chance of being able to win you back I would leave my enough world for that.

I'm an idiot for saying all this and I most likely scared you off. I'm not crazy but I may be a little crazy for you. I know you said it was just a moment when you said you missed me, but maybe it was something a little more. I hope deep inside you, although you won't admit it, you feel the same way. When I got that message I literally walked straight out of my own party and walked a few miles just trying to calm down. Yes I know I over reacted a lot, but you don't understand.

I hope this doesn't just make me sound crazy and desperate but loving someone drives one to do the craziest things. I know you are with a guy now and I know how loyal you are and you won't ever cheat in any way so I don't expect anything. I respect that completely, and it's something I love about you. I just want to let you know how I feel. And I hope somewhere deep down you still have those feelings to, and maybe one day you'll give me a chance to show you the man I've grown to be, that guy only you saw in me when no one else could have.

I love you and I always will, I'll never love anyone the way I love you. I'm not sure if you ever read this but if you do I hope it does something.