To the narcissist who worked so hard to take the most important person in my life away from me,

Subject: To the narcissist who worked so hard to take the most important person in my life away from me,
From: Now lost
Date: 17 Jul 2018

"Mother is the name for god, on the lips and hearts of all children..." That is why she does all she can to keep you happy and you use that to your advantage and always will.

I must congratulate your efforts in driving a wedge between us that is probably irreparable now. Granted us being 6000 miles apart with a 7 hour time difference must have made it a bit easier for you to ply your trade but your countless lies during this period helped you achieve it.

Most mothers, when their daughter seems to be struggling with her partner being so far away, would be supportive and try to help her through with kind words and good advice. Telling her that I had no intention of following through on any of the plans that we made, when you and I have never even discussed such things, and that it would be better for her to start dating others is just despicable behaviour and, frankly, untrue.

You showed your true colours and how little you know your daughter when we were having difficulties.... I'm annoyed at myself that I didn't realise the time you spent trying to convince me of what a horrible person she was. "....attention seeking, manipulative, dishonest...." Your words! (I still have them) that you were, in fact, describing yourself and attempting to hide the work you had put in to driving us apart.

Unfortunately you use everyone that is close to you for your own benefit with no remorse or consideration for your actions. The way in which you use your daughter, however, beggars belief. You show her no pride in her achievements and even put down her talents behind her back yet you are quick to point out to anyone that will listen that you are her mother especially when she performs. You put her in situations that no mother should or would. Putting her on show with crowds of men, encouraging her to date your clients in my absence ‘for the business’…. Astonishing!

I think I understand why you feel the need to do this. You are in essence on your own out there. You alienate yourself from all those close to through your actions. Your constant sniping at your husband and daughter, goading them into arguments; ignoring them when it suits you, getting angry when they have to repeat themselves. The way in which you make it clear that no one is capable of doing any task to your standards saying that you’d rather do it yourself and then making yourself appear the martyr “…I’m the only person who does anything around here…” makes everyone angry which you then use to ‘prove’ that it is you that is the victim.

As your daughter and I got closer and talk turned to marriage and a family of our own you must have started to realise that you would be left only with your husband to play your games with and as you can’t really use him to boost your ‘social standing’ in the same way that you can with a beautiful, talented 27 year old woman and that must have been quite frightening for you.

Unlike you she is a truly beautiful person, inside and out.

Although she used to tell me about the way that you treated her, I finally got to see it and have it directed at me. I am just sorry that I didn’t see you for what you are sooner. However I did notice the shift in your actions towards her once you realised that things were over between us. In the blink of an eye you stopped the sniping, goading, and criticising of her and became her best friend it was as if you couldn’t do anything without her. You will, of course, go back to treating her like shit, making her feel like the 3rd favourite child, behind, the dog (her words) because you can't help yourself, and she will see through you again and you will be left with nothing.... again. She was strong enough to leave you once before.... And she is stronger now than she was then. However it won't be your fault. Will it? It never is.

Sociopaths such as yourself, whilst not necessarily the very definition of evil, should certainly be included under that umbrella. You feel no remorse for your actions, making yourself seem like the victim when you are challenged. You are only concerned with your 'public image' and don't care who you step on to make yourself seem like that which you believe yourself to be. You play both sides of the coin very well, when it suits you. You are quick to do little things for people and make a point of letting people know how this makes you a good person but it is clear that this is just a ploy to drag people into your trust for use at a later date. I fell for that once or twice too.

I don’t think that I will be able to forgive you for what you have done but more than that I will never forgive you what you are trying to do to your daughter. She is nothing like you at all and if she becomes as jaded and unhappy with life as you are, if she starts treating those around her like you do, you will have ruined another life.

I now accept that things are over between your daughter and I now and I applaud your relentless effort. It is a shame that sociopaths like you never get any respite because you don’t actually have an end game. Your life is just an ongoing work of fiction and self-gratification that will never end and will consume all of the good people around you.

I do realise how much work you had put into achieving this and how much you're putting in to keep things going your way. It must be draining having to work so hard to keep up the facade.

I know that, in time, you will be found out but I also know that you will just move on to someone else until she comes back again thinking that you might change. That is the true shame of this situation.

As angry as I am for what you have done and will continue to do, part of me cannot help but feel sorry for you as you have never known and will never know two things I had with your daughter. It is that reason that ‘revenge’ is not a consideration for me. Either karma will come for you or you will leave this world having never known love or happiness and I will take comfort in either of those.

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