Dear my, Penny Lover,
I'm sorry for everything, i really am. Our relationship is like quicksand, the more we fight to better it, the more we sink, sadly. I respect your decision on taking a break, it's really hard to say that, even harder to do it, unbelievably painful to think we had to come to it. Believe it or not, i have always wanted to do right by you. Seems like i failed that one, huh?
For that, I apologize. It was never my intentions, and I can say that a million and one times, but it will change nothing. Just forgive me if you can. Remember the good parts of me, and forget the bad, and always know that you have me in your heart, as I have you forever in mine. My true one desire, baby, our love has expired..
I want you to know, I was thinking about a certain memory of ours today, I smiled, then a single tear rolled down my cheek. Do you remember the morning before our son was born? I stayed up late the night before, anticipation and excitement has been known to do that. Morning came way too soon, yet not fast enough. You gingerly woke me, I opened my eyes, and there you were.
Standing over top of me, glowing a vibrant shine no polish could obtain. With a nervous, anxious smile, and the most beautiful, naked body i had ever seen. You said to me "come on baby, wake up. We get to meet our baby boy today. So make love to me, because after today we won't be able to again for awhile. Then we'll leave and get to make our family complete." (I'm sure I'm paraphrasing, but its pretty close)
After you said it, the look on your face, I will never forget. It was the most happy, reassuring look, that made me realize we were gonna do just fine that day. I was so nervous, i don't know if you could tell, or remember. Of course though, you were there as my rock, like you always have been, guiding me to my inner strength. Our lives changed for the better that day, a life change i couldn't imagine going through with anyone other than you.
Damn, i'm corny, but i can't help it. Everyone of our memories, as i mentally play them back, seem to be more corny than the next. That was our love though, and our uniqueness shining through. A true testament of how, two unlikely halfs, could come together to form one. You were Juliet, to my Romeo, two young kids, in love, with a radiant passion for the other.
Thankfully, our fate is not theirs, but our love's fate, resembles much of their demise. Silently in the night, our feelings have flown away, gone in the wind. A hammering epiphany, too big to swallow, to gone to follow. Should we spare the remaining pieces of our hearts, from crashing to the floor? Or conjoin our hearts once more, to beat as one and continue through, living on a prayer?
Decisions... Decisions... Which one do we choose? Which one is right, which is wrong? Our sanity is at risk, yes, but what's the point of being sane, if you cant enjoy life with your love? What's the point of sight, if we walk through life blind? Questions... Questions...
If only decisions of the heart were easy, and every question was answerable. What a world this would be, huh? In my opinion, it's the decisions without an apparent outcome, and the unanswered questions that truly excite me. What a glutton for punishment i must be. A true liability to my own happiness.
Yet, although life is uncertain, i am certain, my true happiness lies in your hand. Many broken roads have led us down the path at which we found one another. Was it an accident, a coincidence, a mistake maybe? I highly doubt it. Something as valuable, and precise as our recognition of each other's soul, can only prove one thing.
Love isn't so coy. Love isn't so blind. Love isn't an accident that happens because of a lack of attention. I know it isn't, because no one can ever explain, no matter how hard they try, the feeling i felt the moment our eyes met. The moment those breathtakingly blue eyes of yours, mesmerized me.
I was hooked. Like an enchanting spell that made everything else around that wasn't you, irrelevant. I could live through a thousand summers and winters, climb the highest mountain, explore the lowest valley, and never come close to replicating the spark of magic i felt in that moment. The only thing missing was a soft melodic violin, playing in the background, and white doves flying around. A presence of love, that one can only wish for after seeing a shooting star, or tossing a good ole honest Abe into a fountain.
Sounds amazing, doesn't it? The crazy thing is, i get that same feeling everyday i see you, as if its the first time. Those same thoughts, same butterflies, same everything. Thats how i know we are meant to be, how we are destined to grow old together. If only you knew how much i loved you and cherished you, then everything would fall into place.
Until then, may i always stay in your thoughts, as you stay in mine. May i always have a special place in your heart, as you have in mine. May our souls forever be intertwined. Now go on Penny lover, make my feelings relevant, until the end of time...
Sincerely, your Lover Boy