I don't know that I'll ever be able to stay away from you. I don't believe I'll ever be strong enough to walk away and stay away. The attraction is too strong, the desire to be near you, to look into those eyes and to get lost in them.
Truth is I pray most days for two things. Your happiness and mine. I always ask that things work out for you and you are happy in your marriage and that I find my soulmate and learn to love all over again. Problem is, I keep bumping into you. Over and over again and again. I had a thought last night that maybe my prayers actually are being answered? Perhaps it always was you and more to the point, always will be you.
I imagine a life twenty years from now... Married, settled, children etc. But still sneaking off in the unspoken moments to meet you. To fulfill my desires and breathe you. It's the most unreal and unimaginable hold you have over me. And I'm afraid you'll always have it too.
I need to move on. Or I need you honestly, openly, truthfully. Unfortunately I think these stolen moments and unofficial meetings are all that are destined for us both. I guess I have to learn to appreciate all that we had and forget the thought that we could ever have a future.
I will always love you. In the purest, most honest form. I will always have your back and know that I would fight until every bone in my body is broken for you. Always. Without hesitation and without question.
But I am so stuck in this rut right now. And I guess until I move on this but will have to be home. Because neither of us are strong enough to walk away and keep walking away.
I really do hope you find your path and learn that life is yours to live. You weren't put here to make someone elses meaningful and complete. You have your own reasons for existing too. And it would only make sense to live. Freely. And how you want.
With all my love. Now and always.