I have to admit that, it’s awful I’ve never told you this. You’ve been my rebound. Yes, you heard it right. I was just fresh out of a relationship when I met you. Well, No, it’s not true either. I was in a complicated phase of my relationship (to be precise), where man I love moved to the destination he dreamed for and I didn’t realised I’ve fallen for him until it’s too late. Anyway, this letter is not about that relationship but about how and why it didn’t work out between us (in my point of view).
I swear to god, I never been on a rebound relationship before. Each time when I’m out of a relationship, I’ve taken sometime (most of the time too much time to heal myself). However, it was different this time. When that night, out of the blue you asked me in the bar ‘’ would you like to go out with me for a drink sometime?’’ I wasn’t sure what to say, as it was just a week passed by the guy I was seeing moved to North America and I was lonely and confused what the future holds for us. So I gave you that blank look. Then you asked ‘’ Are you single?’’ to what I whispered (after about 30 seconds) ‘’yes’’. But the truth was I wasn’t sure whether I was single! I know, It sounds awful. The truth is I was still not even aware that I was fallen for the former. The night passed by and we exchanged the numbers and we headed on our own ways. I completely forgotten about meeting you next day while I was nursing a hangover, until you texted me and asking me out. But I wasn’t ready and we agreed to park it for another couple of weeks.
We finally went on a date and it was lovely. I enjoyed the time spent and you’ve such a good sense of humor and most importantly you’re very respectable. But there was something lacking, which I couldn’t quiet put my finger into that night. Was it you being so nice but seems to be cynical some times? Was it your presence didn’t make me feel butterflies in my stomach? Was it the lack of warmth you bring into the gathering? Was it you failed to open up about personal feelings? I think it’s the latter. What is weird was I knew and I felt you’re so much into me though. But I couldn’t quiet figure out what am I doing there?
It was not fair that I kept the fact that you’re my rebound. But would you blame me for it? If you do, I admit I’m wrong. In fairness you never asked me ‘’how long you’ve been single for?’’ I thought that would have opened me up. I’m always honest and I’d say the truth in any circumstance. It was a strange thing in relationships, we wait until the other party asks us questions to open up on things. Well, well, that’s how we get to know each other, isn’t it? On the other hand, it made me mad when you don’t show any interest in responding to any of my questions. Because I know men usually do not express themselves unless you’re facilitated with an environment where you’d see you just go with the flow. I tried that with you but it didn’t work either!!! I’m not blaming you for what happened between us but just reasoning out. Sometimes I felt like conversations between us were not naturally fallen either. How long we could go like this bothered me. On the other hand, I felt guilty of not telling you the truth – that you’re my rebound. So I planned to come clean and we went to one of the most romantic places in the city. I tried my best to engage you in a conversation but it was proven so worthless. Yes, I lost patience and I decided to call it a day. Well, call it a quit! Because it’s not fair to either of us to spend time like this as its evident that we wouldn’t get along as we wish in the long run. No, I’m not being pessimistic but I’m re assessing the reasonableness of the assumption of this is going to work.
The best option left for us is to quit and we both know that we both deserve better. And the take away for me is no more rebounds, because I learned that I hardly can give myself fully to someone unless I know I’m ready to move on.
Please forgive me if I've hurt your feelings!