Your name will not come out of my mouth, so this letter is not addressed to anyone. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting me through the ultimate test. I left you as a broken, beaten down, and hopeless woman. These past few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve been fucking mad, devastatingly sad, lonely, filled with shame and filled with guilt. Thank you for putting me through this test. I have learned how to fight for myself. I have learned that I am a strong woman. I have learned that I deserve love, and more importantly, I deserve to love myself. I’m letting go of the anger that I have harbored toward you. It is eating me alive and it has stayed last its welcome. I feel sadness. Sadness for myself, but sadness for you as well. What happened to you growing up that made you this way? Why do you hate yourself so much that you have to take it out on others? Honestly, I understand. I grew up hating myself. I think that is why I was drawn to you. I thought you could fill my void and give me the love and attention that I so desperately wanted. The perfect storm. If only I knew the price I would pay for relying on you. Thank you for forcing me to learn how to rely on myself. Thank you for bringing out all of my insecurities and faults. Because of what I’ve been through with you, I have begun to be able to address my issues and build myself back up. Thank you for showing me what I will now demand in a relationship, I know now that I deserve way more. I feel sad for you, I feel sad for me. I pray that you will get the help you so desperately need so that nobody else has to endure the terror and horrible horrible physical, sexual, and emotional abuse you have put me through. I am riding myself of all my shame associated with what has happened. I know now, it was all you. I did not do anything wrong to deserve the horrible treatment I received from you. I pray and hope that you will never treat another woman that way but more importantly, I hope you learn to love yourself and take care of you.
