To my ex-husband's girlfriend

Subject: To my ex-husband's girlfriend
From: The Horrible, Bitch, ex-wife
Date: 5 Aug 2016

I want to thank you. Because of you I have 100% SOLE custody of my kids. Because of you my ex-husband lost any and all hope of being with his kids… he was so concerned about being an “amazing boyfriend” that he was a horrible father. He never calls his kids… he never asks about them… he never visits them… and basically acts as if they don’t exist. I truly hope he knows that he lost everything because of you. Well he lost everything because of his actions AND your support... so you're both to blame, but he can thank you for all of your assistance in his self-sabotage. 

You can lie in court, you can tell your pathetic story to whomever will listen, but I know the real truth. I know way more than you think... so all the false truths you tell, just know that I know the real truth. I know that you were sleeping with my husband within 2 weeks of him assaulting me; within 2 weeks of him betraying me; within 2 weeks of him abandoning his children, his family, and losing everything he had. That police report you submitted to the court proves that you lied in court too. You said you weren't his girlfriend until Halloween of 2015... you said that while on the record! You told the police that you moved in with your boyfriend in September of 2015… written proof. So which was it?  

You might think you have “Prince Charming” but don’t forget he was once my prince charming too. He was once the love of my life, my husband, my best friend, the person I trusted most in the world, the father of my children… and then I saw the truth in who he really is. You can play pretend all you want… you can play house with him. But the truth is, neither of you will ever have the happiness you're pretending to have. You will never have the family you so desire… He will never marry you. He will never have kids with you (on purpose)… you’re just a distraction for him. He’s just wasting time with you… trying to forget that he fucked up. He’s trying to pretend that he hasn’t lost everything he cared about. He's trying to act like he has any control over what's happening in his life... when his life is spiraling out of control. He knows he has nothing now. He’s told me. He’s about to lose the last of what he has.

You should know that even though you think you’re not involved in our legal, financial, or custody battles… you are. You chose to get involved with a married man. You chose to engage in a relationship with a father of 2 young kids. You chose to get involved with him during our legal battles. You then made the decision to move in together after only “dating” a couple weeks. So despite you wanting to stay out of things, you’ve pretty much sent yourself an invitation into our drama… so sit back and enjoy the ride, because you’ll be involved as long as you’re in a relationship with my ex-husband, the father of MY children. I hope you enjoy sleeping in my bed… under my blankets… on my pillows. I hope you sleep well knowing that he and I have f*cked in that very spot you're sleeping in. We've laid in that bed, cuddled, enjoyed each other sexually over every inch of that bed, as well as the couches, floor, shower, and his futon. Enjoy staying in the house where your boyfriend had his family, where he lived with his wife and kids. Enjoy showering and getting ready in the bathroom where he strangled me and held me against the wall… held me by the throat and cut off my air supply. Enjoy knowing that my children used to sleep in the rooms right across the hall. We used to be a happy family in that house and now you're just a generic wannabe copy of the wife that he used to have. 

I hope you realize that my ex-husband is out of his mind. He only cares about himself. He acts like he cares about you, but he doesn't. Just remember, you don't know and will NEVER know the real man he is, until it's too late. You see the pretty picture he's painted for you. You know the lies and bent truths that he's whispered in your ear... but you will never really know who he is. You think he's the best boyfriend because he's sweet, loving, and f*cks you!? Well first, he's a sex addict – he would f*ck anything and probably is when you’re not around (especially his other famous ex, who you seem to be BFFs with – why do you think I had a problem with her? She was sexting my husband, probably our whole marriage, and I have pictures to prove it), and second, he is still active on POF, likely looking for his next lay. He was mine for 9 years and he was that sweet, loving, person with me for all those years. He bought me things, took me places, and surprised me with stuff. He was once my prince charming, just as he is yours right now. One day, he will change, you will change, and everything will fall apart. He's good at blaming everyone else for what's happening too. So if you think you hate me, you think I'm some bitch of an ex-wife... you have no f*cking clue who I am or what I've been through or what has made me this way. You have no f*cking clue what my ex-husband did to me, mentally, emotionally, or physically... for years. But I know who you are... how you are... and I have every right to hate you. And I do. But as much as I hate you, I feel sorry for you even more. I know what your future looks like with him and it's as grim as mine was. He preys on the weak and lonely. He thrives off of the mental and emotional abuse and torture he can cause. He will continue to be that way until people around him keep him accountable for his actions, instead of always enabling him.

When you met my then husband, he was homeless, in trouble with the law, pending criminal charges and possible jail time, and on the verge of losing his job. He was near rock bottom. He was barely surviving. He was looking for someone as rejected and vulnerable as he was. He found you. A vulnerable girl whose baby had just died, who didn’t have custody of the other children she birthed, and who has little to no family for support around her. Just the kind of girl he could fool into loving him. One thing you need to know about him is that he is very insecure. He will act like he’s not, but he is so insecure that he thinks everyone doubts him the way he doubts himself. He doesn’t know how to be alone. He doesn’t know how to act like an adult. He is a serial narcissist. He will always blame everyone for his short comings and he will never take responsibility for anything. He thinks he is entitled to respect and success, instead of earning either. He's really a disappointment in so many ways. 

I know that you have been supporting your “perfect boyfriend” during all his criminal proceedings, through our divorce, and custody battle, but what does that say about you? Do you think it’s okay for a man to strangle and abuse his wife because she finds out he is cheating? As a mother, do you think it's okay for him to abandon the responsibility of being a father? By supporting a man who has done this, what kind of role model are you being for your own daughter? What will you tell her when she’s older? If you’re even still in a relationship with him… what story will you give her? What is MY daughter supposed to think of you? She knows what her father did. She knows that her father chose some other woman over her and her baby brother. She knows that the man that was once there for her is now gone and doesn’t even care. How do I explain to her the logic in this? Why aren’t you supporting him as a father? You should want Nate to have a close relationship with his children. But since you don’t have your own children, maybe you don’t want him to have his either… that way it’s just the two of you. Without your kids, you can both play the victim and people can feel sorry for you. That’s the way he wants it… he told me all the time that he didn’t want our kids and it would be better without them, but he still pretends to be the pitiful father, who's ex-wife has taken his children. He still plays the part he thinks people will feel sorry for and who will tell him he's the one who is getting the shitty end of the stick. He can manipulate almost any situation in his "favor". 

You thought it was funny to file a harassment restraining order on me, because I said you were unfit to be near my children… well, honey, who’s laughing now? He probably should have counselled you about me. I don’t play well with others, especially people who are threatening me, obsessing about me, talking shit about me, and who are taking resources away from my children. I am the mama bear and I will protect my cubs in any way. This isn’t a threat, this is the truth. You can make up all the lies about me that you want. You can tell everyone how pathetic you are and how I am “stalking you”, but guess what… I have a little piece of paper that says you’re a liar and that you have NO PROOF or EVIDENCE of my “stalking” because I’m not and have never “stalked” you. But I do have proof that you are a sad, sorry excuse for a mom, and that you act and look like a drug addict. Honey, I do my research. I never come unprepared to a battle. Why do you think the judge agreed that I am trying to protect my babies from you? Evidence. Research. The truth. Since my ex-husband refused to tell me anything about you, I had to find out for myself. I guess he knew you were someone that shouldn’t be around our kids too, that’s why he wouldn’t tell me about you. He had nothing good to say. So while you're hating on me, telling all your social media friends how awful I am, maybe you should take a look at the "love of your life" and his signature on the last stipulation order that shows him agreeing that you are not fit and are unsafe to be around our children. I'm sure he will deny it, but that signature speaks for itself. Isn’t it funny how that works? I mean, he didn’t even support you in court. Where is all this “support” that he is giving you? He even gave you my wrong information for your restraining order. Ha ha. He made you look really stupid. Again, I feel sorry for you.

I’ve given you both many chances. I tried to play nice and you both refused to cooperate. You both thought you could intimidate me into backing down from relaying the truth. You both thought that I was going to cower away. He must have forgotten who he married. He must have forgotten about the strong, self-sufficient, honest woman he loved. It’s okay. I'll be sure he remembers. I am secure in who I am and I know what I want. I know what I will allow and what I won’t allow. I know how to keep my babies safe and I don’t care who it is from… even their own father. You guys can live in your little fairy tale world and I will live in reality.  I’m done playing games and allowing either of you to guilt me into anything. I will always have the truth on my side and it will keep me at the top.

Congratulations on being involved with someone else’s husband, a deadbeat dad, and soon to be homeless, broke man. Enjoy living with a man who will tell you any lie he thinks you'll believe. Enjoy your fake happiness. Please be sure to leave me out of everything during the crash and burn of your "happily ever after".  It will come. Maybe read about narcissism and you'll see who my ex-husband really is... and who you are.