To the Man I Used to Call "Friend"

Subject: To the Man I Used to Call "Friend"
From: Anonymous
Date: 7 Sep 2016

I blocked your number and blocked you on facebook because of everything that happened. I also unfriended your girlfriend about a week after it all went down. I'm still not sure what is going on in your head, but you need help, and I hope you're getting it.

We met working together at a retail store, unpacking boxes. I thought you were a cool guy. You eventually found me on facebook, claiming to have been searching for my cousin of the same last name that graduated with you. We got a chance to hang out a couple of times, and eventually we started to text each other as well.

Your texts, however, started to only come late at night. You claimed it was because you work nights at a broadcasting station. I had insomnia, so it was fine. Yet I also noticed you starting to text me only when you were drunk on your nights off. Then, your texts started to get a little... inappropriate.

There was only one problem - I had been dating the same guy since my sophomore year of high school.

Scratch that. Of course that wasn't the problem. If that was the problem, then I should be burned at the stake for being a woman and having a job. The problem here was that it was a problem for you, yet you seemed to ignore it anyway.

I wish that I started to ignore your texts sooner. You became vulgar, accused me of being a prude, and when I didn't bite the bait you were casting, your depression came out. Of course it came out. It let me pity you, try to help you.

I always wondered why you were so vague with the details of your relationship with your "roommate". I invited both of you to an art show. Free wine, I said. We both happily chatted over your apartment, your roommate and I. I already knew. Why try to keep it a secret?

I didn't talk to you for a while. And then, you texted me at 3am.

Vague. If it were speech, it would be slurred. Drunk, of course. Depressed. Come see me before I leave, it said. I'm fading, it said. You never answered when I called you. After a while you stopped responding to my texts. I still think I did the right thing, but you can't imagine how angry with myself I am to really care that much.

I called the cops, and they said they would call back. Asked me the nature of our relationship. I told them I used to work with you. What else could I do? I was at least an hour away and I wasn't going to drive to see you at 3am. Sorry, but at that point you were no longer my friend. They called back and told me you were okay.

I thought that was it. Then an hour after the call, I get a friend request on facebook.

Your girlfriend said that she saw my name come up repeatedly on your urine-covered locked phone you left in the bathroom. She told me that you were in the middle of an argument, and that you told her you never loved her. The cops came and took you away - for three nights. She looked in the medicine cabinet after you were gone and discovered that a significant amount of her sleeping pills were missing. She demanded to know what you had told me, and I apologized for meddling and that I had no idea what was going down. A day later she would ask if you flirted with me. What was I supposed to say?

When you came back, you sent me a Facebook message. Lots of thank-yous. You really owed me one for saving your life, you claimed. I thought, maybe you would take this situation to heart and turn yourself around.

Then you sent me that picture.

I should have spread that like wildfire, but I thought better of myself and promptly blocked you. It was so out of the blue. My question to you is: why?!

WHY would you think that this was a good idea? What would make you decide that there was EVER a time to do this? I had told you countless times how happy I was in my relationship, and we weren't even friends at this point. Hint for future reference: a picture of your -hem- "lower torso with all of its parts" without warning is NEVER something women want unless they ask for it - which is never going to be likely in your case.

Just because I 'saved' you does not mean that I wanted to sleep with you. I wanted to help you, but you are so far from what I can offer that only professionals can help you now. You tried to text me a while later, but I ignored them.

So far I never believed in guys like you until you showed me that they exist. I hope you change and expand your mindset on how friendships and relationships work. I do think that you need to heal, but the healing will never come from me.

I am not a doll. I am not a toy. I am a human being with bonds and trust and emotion. Your ex girlfriend is the same. Do not treat us at any level below how we deserve. You technically won't have a chance, I guess. However, I hope you stop to think about that before you pursue another girl... or more.