Scrolling through my social media, I see my peers struggling. I have come across way too many posts filled with self doubt and helplessness for comfort. Each of you have your own hardships, different from one another. However, each battle has one thing in common; they get better, and I want you to trust me on this.
Personally, my long journey to confidence was certainly not a walk in the park. I was self conscious about almost everything a person could possibly think of (Seriously, you name it). However, the one thing that upset me the most was my grades in school. From an early age, I was placed in below average classes. I constantly received low test scores. For me, being on the verge of failing classes was the norm. Thus being said, no one ever expected much from me.
By the time I entered high school, I also learned not to expect much from myself. I knew that I would most likely end high school with a C average at best, because I was not like the other kids who were naturally geniuses. I tried my best to accept the fact that I would not be as successful as everyone else.
It wasn’t until an encounter with a teacher towards the end of my sophomore year that I decided it was time to take action. I remember being asked to pull up our grade point averages on our computers. Looking around, I was a 2.6 student in a sea of what seemed to be 4.0’s. We were told to pick out a college that we could see ourselves at. I found one that immediately pulled me in. Forgetting about my embarrassing grades, I felt extremely happy that I found a university that actually made me want to learn and be successful. My teacher looked at my college of choice and then glanced at my grade point average. She nastily explained to me that this school was far out of reach for me and that I had to pick another one that was “more realistic” for the assignment. I believed her.
A week later, I looked at the college again and knew that there was no other place that I loved more. In that moment, I swear that suddenly everything clicked. That was the point in time that I decided I was going to get into this college, and I was going to earn it.
I made a call to my guidance counselor and added in as many honors and Advanced Placement classes as I could. I was going to prove to myself that I had the ability to be an A student. Starting my junior year, I took notes on every possible thing, utilized my teacher’s after school help hours, and studied the material until I knew it like the back of my hand. I did not let myself get anything below perfect, because I knew that I was capable of reaching my goal. Teachers started to praise me and my classmates started asking me for help. I finished off my junior year of high school with a 3.9 grade point average; and getting that letter of acceptance from my dream college that was “unrealistic” for me made every second of work worth it.
The only difference between my failing grades and my A grades was my attitude. I told myself that I was strong enough to succeed; I had faith in myself. So the next time you feel that you are not good enough, I want you to repeat to yourself, ‘I am enough, I am strong, I am confident, I can do this.” Because in life, we have the ability to be our own worst critics; and once you remove that critic, you are unstoppable.
