hey. i don't really know how to begin this so i'm just gonna wing it. maybe it wont suck, it probably will though. a lot of things that you said hurt me. which, i know now, was your intentions. you wanted me to know i was being a complete idiot and somebody was bothered by it. somebody that i made fall completely head over heels for me. you were so in love with me. part of me wanted to get better for you. but then i wouldn't be getting better. does that make sense? i had to get better for me. for my future. and well.. i guess when it's put that way, i was getting better for you, in a way. if i wanted you to be in my future, i had to clean my act up and make something of myself. so, i did. but by the time i finally got it together, you were gone. ignoring all my messages, blocking me on every site i may get you on. avoiding people who tried to help me contact you. you were done. but i wasn't. i missed you. my head was finally clear, and i knew i loved you. not some stupid puppy dog shit. i LOVED you. so i kept trying. my god, it upset you. eventually.. i started to lose a bit of faith. a couple months went by and i was now pregnant. away from the pos that got in the way before. i was reminded of you in everything. songs, street signs, books. and eventually movies. it just wouldn't stop, no matter how many months went by. so i caved. i swallowed my pride and tried yet again to gain your love back. and i don't know what made this time different from all rest. but this time? this time, you caved too. you let me in. anger, resentments and all. you had never truly given up on me. and because we both could not seem to fall out of love with the other, the universe made it work for us. you became mine again. and a loving father. you made so much progress. hell.. WE made so much progress. and today i want to fucking marry you. thank you for not giving up on the one who used to be your ghost girl. she loves you, infinitely.
