I will always want you

Subject: I will always want you
From: TheXhoodRat
Date: 4 Feb 2015

Dear Gorde,

I dont like it but obviously i have no say in whether or not we get back togather because you have already made the decision that it is over and that there is too much to try and repair the mistakes we have both admitted to making, but i still love you and want to be with you and i always have and always will regardless of how you feel or say you feel. I am finding it difficult to believe you when you say that this break-up is hard for you because i think that if this break-up was really that hard for you, you would be open to try and repair the issues that we have. I am and i am not sitting here blaming you entirely because if i am going to be brutally honest about this, like i expect you to be, then i need to own my part of the demise as well and i will go a little bit further and say that i am probably way more responsible for our breakup then you are. I made alot of mistakes and allowed you to treat me badly by not standing up for myself and putting a stop to your mistreatment as soon as it started instead of making excuses and covering up my feelings and emotions and staying in an emotionally empty relationship.

I hope that one day, you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and feel good about the person you see looking back at you instead of feeling shame, guilt and embarrassment that you feel now when you look at that same reflection.

I am not sure why you are so convinced of your innocence or lack of responsibilities or committment to me, yet you could be the unwavering supportive boyfriend to maya, sharon, paula, and whoever else you were / are still having an unsafe sexual relationship with.

Anyway the point of this letter is tell you that i have no choice but to leave you alone and accept the choice and decision you have made, but like i said, i dont like it and i want /need you to acknowledge that i still love you and am willing to forgive you and work on our issues in the hope that we can have that happy ending that i always thought we were meant to have......................................