I still love you

Subject: I still love you
From: Masha <3
Date: 14 Aug 2017

Last year i fell in love with you.
You looked cute, goofy, nice and really beautiful in my eyes.I was really happy around you, until i started liking you.
Months later everything turned into love.
I was getting more miserable everyday.
You liked me as a friend, but you didn't really care.
I've never opened up to you about my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
I was scared that you'll push me away.
I love the way you sometimes close your eyes when you laugh.I find it extremely adorable.
Of course you aren't bi/lesbian/pan...you're confused.
I know that, because you told me.
I had a really hard time at home.
My parents fight everyday.
My sister bullies me every single fucking day.
And yes, i do get bullied at school...
Let's say you kind of made me mad.
I was going insane, because of you.
Eventually I did confess to you.
You acted like nothing happened.
You did not care.
I tried to kill myself with random pills, but i failed.
I failed being happy.
I told my mom about my depression...she didn't care :(
You always tell me how much you love me and how much you care about me, but that's not true.
You said that i was fucking around with suicide, when i was just silently asking for your help.
It hurt me.
You hurt me a lot, but i won't write down how, became it's too painful.
I'm writing this, because after all I'm hopelessly in love with you and it feels like a storm.
I feel like drowning.
You don't even know how many times i texted you whilst crying.
I am mad at you, but at the same time i love you so fucking much...
HOW DARE YOU, hurt me?
We barely talk now...
It's painful when I'm not taking to you, but it's painful when I talk to you.
You probably think that i don't love you anymore, but I do...
I love you and I don't care how much it hurts.