Dear heroin

Subject: Dear heroin
From: the one you know by name
Date: 18 Sep 2016
died, heroin, lost

You are in my dreams as if I know you; Like I've seen your face before. It's hazy but definitely recognizable. Like the dark cloud that's always in the corner of my eye. I could feel you there, I could smell you but I could not see you. If feels as though, perhaps you know me as well, For you have faintly whispered my name again and again.
Yet, we have never met. I've heard about you in real life, I'm almost certain you've heard about me; not that it's a small town but we've had friends in common before and you know, people talk. I've heard how amazing you are and how good you make people feel, you might have heard the same about me! Which is why it's beyond me as to why we've never met. Still here I am fighting another sleepless night with intermittent dreams of you. Your wonderful, powerful, always there for you go to escape haunts me. My eye's don't see you for what they claim you to be instead you are dark, twisted and all consuming. I'm drawn to you in my dreams but paralyzed by you in life.
You have peaked my deepest curiosities and I barely even know your name. I'll probably never meet you, I plan it this way but I still feel suffocated by your wrath. I hope I never even see you, I fear I'd recognize you in a heartbeat and fall weak to my knees in terror. To this day you are praised by some for your hire power and talked by as if you've given confidence by your touch alone. Honestly I've always seeked someone of the sort to do such for me but I've never had much courage as your friends do. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm such a loner or I too might have fallen onto your path. It's kinda funny though, that I still feel that hold, like your hands are around my neck. You are the reason I have trouble breathing. Some nights get so bad that I actually feel dead inside. I feel like I've lost a battle to the death with you. I lay here paralyzed in agony because of you. My best friend is no longer mine and I'm none the wiser. Quick as day turns into night or night into day he was gone and the only trace left behind were images of you. no wonder why you haunt my dreams. it has been months and your lingerer is still in the air around me as if you've tainted my soul. I've still never met you and I plan to keep it that way. For every night thinking of you leaves me feeling dead. The only thing I could ask if I ever had your time would be as to why you leave so many high and dry when they've only ever come to you for help. You really should stop befriending people if you leave the there to die because not only are you killing them but you are killing people like me too. I'm dead in sense that because of you I'll never be who I was. I'll never be able to love like I once had, or dream the same dreams that I used to dream. Still never having crossed your path, I'm blindsided with the feeling of being robbed of my purity and feeling like I'll never see innocence again. You; A stranger have murdered me whole without killing me. You've taken away a part of me that I'll never get back. Perhaps this is why you'd be so recognizable if I seen you today, because you already have a part of me I'll never get back.
Someday my strength will return but rest assured that you may have won this battle but in this war you will never own my soul.