To the girl I loved the most

Subject: To the girl I loved the most
Date: 8 May 2017

Hi! I don't know if you'd be able to read this. I don't intend this to be the reason for us to be back together or whatever. I just want this chapter of my life to be in peace.

I met you last year in a coffee shop. You were wearing a purple hoodie, shorts and with you is big ass backpack. I didn't know what made me go all the way to the north at midnight bringing with me ChickenJoy. You were silent and I thought you were not interested with me. So I started talking about random stuff just to get your attention and I tell you I fell in love with when you started talking. You don't know how incredibly amazing you are.

Days passed and we went out on dates finally my first date after 2 years. I can't believe I can do it again after my last heartbeat. You made me believe in things I forgot about because of the situations thar came into my life in the past. You made me believe that I can give my love once again. To open up myself and be vulnerable to all the possible hurt that love can inflict into my life. 2 years I was so afraid, but in a snap you took my fears away.

You are not that hard to love, I tell you that. But my fears kept on coming back that's why I keep on leaving and coming back. But then one date of us made me sure of the things I feel for you. You turned the place I was so afraid to return to into one of most memorable one. You made me so happy that day that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

Weeks past and finally we officially became a couple. I was in definitely the luckiest guy when you said yes to me, but I was also starting a new season in my life. I lost time for you, I didn't get to see you as much, so you left. These were the worst days. I broke down at work in front of my boss. I can't believe the girl I gave my heart to left and became unsure of me just like that.

I didn't give up. I tried everything to get you back. I didn't let the hurt get in the way of me being with the woman I love the most. You were a once in a lifetime girl and I'm not going to give up just like that.

Finally after the struggles you came back and I was incredibly happy to have you in my arms again. I promised myself this time I'll do everything right. And I did. After my flights I make sure I get to see you. If I can't I'd send you flowers that I know you really love. We did everything together, You became my life and the one I always think of. I forgot about me being tired because just a kiss from you would easily take that away. You are my happy pill. You became my world. I loved you so much that If I had the choice who to fall for over and over it will be you.

But just like any other relationship, ours was not a perfect one. We fought, ignored each other and most of the time this was when I was away for work. We got tired but tried to work things out. We had misunderstandings but it didn't get in the way of us continuing to love one another. I kept on fighting all the negatives cause I know you are my life.

Now I don't know why it had to end. After a period of continuous fighting I fell out. I left to look for the love I lost for you. I told you to give me time. I still love you but I just want to collect myself again. I want to love you better than I did. I want to give you the love you deserve again so we parted ways. And i tell you the last dance we did broke me. I don't know why i had to do this. But I know it's the right decision instead of continuously hurting you.

Now that I finally found it after a month. You found another person to love already. I don't know why it came so fast. Maybe this is a lesson I should learn from, never let the one go. I don't know what to do with my love for you. But maybe it's the sign for me to move on.

The love we had for each other will always be in my heart and no one can replace that. If in some other time we meet again I hope we smile at each other and be happy of the person we have become. I will always love you with all that I am, Ins. You will always be the best decision I ever made and for that thank you!

Now this is my goodbye. I wish you both the best in life. Let him love you in the way I should have. Love him right and cherish moments. Do the bucketlist you made with me cause I know how much you wanted to do those things. Be happy now. The hurting is over.

I love you Ins, thank you for the memories you have created with me. Create new and great ones. This is me saying goodbye. Thank you for everything! I will truly miss you.