Dear Google: How do I respond when the married girl I like tells me I have big shoulders

Subject: Dear Google: How do I respond when the married girl I like tells me I have big shoulders
From: Vandevoorde
Date: 17 Nov 2021

Dear Sasha,
I can’t wait for your kids to hear your love story. Not classy. Tell him he has big shoulders, he eats that shit up!

Dear Niko,
You are a beta. You just play a role. You don’t know who you are. What makes you evil is that you can’t even find your identity alone, you drag others into it. You are not authentic. You’re a copycat. If you really think about it, it is so obvious, but you can’t look in the mirror. You will never be tough no matter how many fucking patches you collect or GoRucks you do. You are not strong, lift all you want. Do you think that Ranger would write a reference for you now, He wouldn’t even shake your hand, what does that say about you? You literally had to run away to another state, and start drinking because you are such a fucking coward you never could face us and what YOU did. You feel no remorse whatsoever. You’re a fake, spoiled, petty, and delusional little boy. Are you seriously going to let your parents buy the car from you?! Clean up your own mess for once! The Dogs Are Fine By The Way. Thats the title of my book. I will send you guys a copy. Let me know your new address, not just for the book, but I’d love to get Sasha all this mail of hers I have been receiving for a year. Should I just forward it to your BFFs where you have never lived? You just couldn’t resist sending her Black Rifle to “prove” how tough you are :) What a poser, douchebag you have always been. You know she was married to an actual Marine, right?

Category: